The Trust Factor
A daily lesson that focuses on achieving unparalleled success in life using ancient wisdom in modern times.
We will be discussing critical concepts as they are laid out in the book Sha'ar Habitachon - The Gate of Trust. Written 1000 years ago, the author reminds us of the values and wisdom that have allowed humanity to thrive throughout history.
The concept of trusting in a higher power that exists purely for our benefit, puts us in the drivers seat with absolute confidence to achieve greatness.
Eliminate: Fear, Hatred, Anxiety, Depression, Jealousy, Greed...forever!
* Note that some terminology will be in the original Hebrew or Aramaic which I will always follow with the English translation.
The Trust Factor
Episode 128 - No Strings, No Flex: The Lost Art of Selfless Giving
Have you ever felt trapped in the cycle of favors, debts, and obligations? Today's episode of The Trust Factor tackles the often-overlooked spiritual dimensions of a seemingly mundane interaction: responding when someone asks you for a favor.
We dive deep into the proper mindset for handling requests from others, beginning with honest self-assessment. If you lack the means or ability to help, the most respectful response is simply acknowledging your limitations. False promises help no one. But when you do have the capacity to assist, giving your wholehearted effort becomes essential—not because you owe it to the person, but because it aligns with divine attributes of generosity.
The countercultural heart of this teaching emerges when we explore the aftermath of helping others. Society has conditioned us to expect reciprocity, to remind others of their "debt" to us, sometimes indefinitely. We've been taught that helping others without compensation makes us fools. This episode challenges that fundamentally selfish paradigm, presenting instead an approach where we see ourselves merely as conduits for goodness. When our efforts succeed, we should thank the divine for working through us rather than congratulating ourselves or creating a sense of obligation in those we've helped.
What makes this teaching truly transformative is its liberation from outcome-dependency. By focusing on our sincere effort rather than guaranteed results, we free ourselves from the disappointment of unmet expectations. While we cannot control how others receive our help or whether they appreciate it, we can control our intentions and actions. This approach ensures that regardless of external outcomes, when we help others without expectation, "we will always win."
Ready to transform how you navigate requests for help? Listen now and discover why true giving comes with no strings attached. How might your relationships change if you approached every opportunity to help others as a privilege rather than a burden?
Morning everybody, and welcome to the Trust Factor. This is the podcast that's going to guarantee success when you implement its divine teachings. My friends, it's Friday. Thank God it's Friday.
Speaker 1:We are now talking about what happens when somebody asks you for a favor. Whether it's a friend, whether it's a community or family member, somebody comes and asks you for a favor, it doesn't matter what it is. Now, obviously, like we've said before, if they've chosen you, hopefully they've deduced that you have the means to be able to fulfill this for them, or the resources. Like we said before, not everybody has the resources. You can't ask somebody who doesn't own a car to give you a lift. So they've come to you to ask you for a favor, presuming that you have the ability. If you don't have the ability to do this, this is just common sense, guys. If you cannot fulfill it, for whatever reason, don't even bother trying. If you know you can't do it, explain to them that you're the wrong agent. You're not the guy to fulfill this task and that's it. Leave it at that. There are other people better suited to be able to fulfill a task, because what's going to happen is, if you take on a task that you know you cannot do, you are going to come up empty-handed and then you're going to blame yourself. It doesn't make any sense. Why put a stumbling block in front of yourself? Very simply bow out respectfully I'm not capable. I doesn't make any sense. Why put a stumbling block in front of yourself? Very simply bow out respectfully I'm not capable, I don't have the resources. But, on the other hand, if you do, you have the ability to go and do something for a friend Then you should give an effort. You have to give 100%, just like everything else in life. You have to give a real, reasonable effort. And he says let's read Likewise, if someone asks him, makes a request of him, he should go about doing it wholeheartedly, like I just mentioned, and should put forth sincere effort, a reasonable effort, to fulfill the request, provided that he has the opportunity to put forth that effort and that the requesting party is someone for whom it is proper to apply effort.
Speaker 1:In other words, not just what I said, that you have to be able to have the resources to be able to do this, but you have to make sure that you're doing it for somebody who's worthy of it, because if you're trying to do good for somebody who's not deserving. We've said before, it doesn't matter that you're meritorious. If they're not, it's not going to happen. And you're.
Speaker 1:He should rely on Hashem insofar as the fulfillment of this request If God indeed fulfills it through him and makes him a conduit for someone else's good, he should thank God for this. Thank you, hashem, that you made me this person's agent and that it worked out well and I was able to be successful for this individual. And he says if he is prevented from fulfilling his fellow's request and does not meet with success in carrying it out, he should not blame himself. This individual wanted something. It's not proper for you to say thank you, hashem, for not fulfilling this person's desire through me as an agent, because this person still is looking for whatever it is that they need. But what you need to do is not blame yourself. You know that it has nothing to do with you. Ultimately, this individual was not supposed to receive that which he asked you to get for him. Rather, after exerting himself and personally putting forth his best effort, he should inform his fellow that he was not successful and he did not fall short in his effort on the fellow's behalf.
Speaker 1:That's always the risk that you're going to put forward an effort and that the individual is going. You're going to come up in the empty-handed, which means the individual is going to come up empty-handed and then they may blame you or they may not, but you may come to think that they might think you haven't put forward a proper effort. So you have to explain to them and, even if it means quantifying it, to say this is what I've done, this is the length to which I went. I tried to give you my best and it didn't work. I came up empty-handed. I tried with everything I had, but it simply did not work out and that's it.
Speaker 1:Now, unfortunately, sometimes you're going to have individuals in this world who simply aren't happy with that. They're not happy with the fact that God didn't give it to them, and they may use you as a target to say, no, it was your fault, you didn't give a valiant effort, and you know what that's out of your hands, out of your control entirely, what other people think and feel. If you put forward that real effort and you've substantiated it, that is all that you need to do. At the end of the day, you owe him nothing, you owe these individuals nothing. That's the reality. But at the same time, you have to emulate your creator, which we've said multiple times. And God is here to give us. He owes us nothing, yet he serves us, he does everything for us, and our job is to emulate him. So, while I owe my friend nothing, I owe it to myself to be like God, which means that I have to be a provider. I have to make sure that this world is taken care of and the people within it are taken care of. That's my job. If everybody lived that way, my friends again, it would be a utopia.
Speaker 1:Let's finish off this explanation with a note over here that says that in the Arabic translation, it was translated to say that if the request was fulfilled through this individual, through you, you were asked to do something and the request was fulfilled through you as an agent for another individual, you should not congratulate yourself and you should not seek reciprocation or thanks from his fellow. Wow, can you imagine? Think about this today, in our day and age. Rather, he should thank Hashem that he fulfilled his fellow's request through him and made him a conduit for someone else's good. What an outlook in life, my friends. It's entirely altruistic. It's entirely about the other person.
Speaker 1:We are being taught through secular societies the exact opposite of what we're being taught over here. Some people have been taught that if you do for somebody else, it needs to come at a cost. There is no free lunch. If you're doing for somebody and you're not receiving in return, then you are a fool. That's what they've been teaching us that if you're taking from your most precious resource to give to somebody else and you're doing it free of charge, then you, my friend, are a fool. It is exactly the opposite of the way that we should conduct ourselves in this life. Not only should we do it if we have the ability You're not supposed to put yourself out and come out at a loss but if you're able to put yourself in a situation where you can help another individual and it costs you very little, then you should make that effort A hundred percent. You should try and do good by your friend. Now. If it works out, then you don't pat yourself on the back, you don't flex your muscles and say again it was my strength, it was my wisdom.
Speaker 1:You know you should be really glad that you asked me to do this for you, because if you had asked somebody else, you probably would have come up empty handed. But because I know how to trade in stocks, or because I know the owner of that car dealership, I got you the best deal possible. I got you the approval on the financing. Nobody else would have gotten it for you. Can you imagine? That's what people think, and you should not seek reciprocation. So now you owe me. That's a big one. That's a big one I for you. Not only do you owe me, but I'm going to remind you, and oftentimes even worse than that. Not only do you owe me and not only am I going to remind you on a regular basis, but I'm going to continue to remind you even after you think you've repaid me, because I think that me going out of my way for you, what I did for you, is worth so much more than you could have ever done for me. So, even though you've done for me in return, because I've made you feel obligated to, I'm going to continue to remind you that you still owe me.
Speaker 1:There are people like that. Be very careful, my friends, because you can end up feeling indebted to this individual forever because you asked them for one thing in your life. So, my friend, incorporate this Ultimately you can't control the way people think or feel. But you know, what you can control is the way you think and the way you behave. So if you incorporate these ideas and these behaviors into the way that you conduct yourself, and these behaviors into the way that you conduct yourself when somebody asks you for a favor, you will always win. You will never ever lose. You cannot control their actions, but you can certainly control your thoughts and actions. My friends, that wraps it up for the week. I want to wish you an amazing Shabbat and, god willing, we will pick up again on Sunday. Shabbat Shalom.
