The Trust Factor
A daily lesson that focuses on achieving unparalleled success in life using ancient wisdom in modern times.
We will be discussing critical concepts as they are laid out in the book Sha'ar Habitachon - The Gate of Trust. Written 1000 years ago, the author reminds us of the values and wisdom that have allowed humanity to thrive throughout history.
The concept of trusting in a higher power that exists purely for our benefit, puts us in the drivers seat with absolute confidence to achieve greatness.
Eliminate: Fear, Hatred, Anxiety, Depression, Jealousy, Greed...forever!
* Note that some terminology will be in the original Hebrew or Aramaic which I will always follow with the English translation.
The Trust Factor
Episode 129 - The Divine Art of Turning Enemies into Allies
Ever wondered what ancient wisdom tells us about handling enemies and critics? In this profound episode of the Trust Factor, we explore the revolutionary approach to dealing with adversaries that stands in stark contrast to our natural instincts—yet promises extraordinary results.
When someone hurts us, our immediate reaction is often to strike back or defend ourselves. But what if there's a more powerful alternative? We delve into the transformative concept that our adversaries may actually be messengers sent to help us grow. Rather than blaming them, we're encouraged to look inward, examining our own actions and using criticism as a catalyst for personal improvement. The truly remarkable aspect? When we respond to negativity with kindness rather than retaliation, we create an environment where 99% of conflicts naturally dissolve.
This wisdom comes with an important distinction. While we should approach most conflicts with this mindset of self-reflection and kindness, we must also recognize truly toxic individuals—those with what ancient texts call a "sick soul." These people consistently inject negativity into relationships and operate contrary to normal human values. The guidance is clear: while we should respond with kindness to those who occasionally hurt us, we have a responsibility to distance ourselves from those who demonstrate persistent toxic behavior.
The episode concludes with a beautiful promise from King Solomon: "When God favors a man's ways, even his enemies will make peace with him." This powerful approach to handling adversaries isn't just about managing conflict—it's about creating the conditions for divine intervention in our relationships. Try implementing this wisdom in your next difficult encounter and witness how responding with kindness rather than revenge can transform both you and your relationships.
Morning everybody, and welcome to the Trust Factor, the podcast that guarantees your success when you implement its divine, age-old teachings. We are wrapping up this section, this chapter that we are discussing right now, or this category I should say category number three, where we're talking about how somebody with trust deals with their relationships. We're going to wrap this up by discussing how somebody with trust in God deals with their adversaries, dealing with their enemies, people who wish them harm. Now, this could be anybody. Unfortunately, this could even be a family member. It doesn't have to be somebody who's arm's length. It doesn't have to be somebody that you don't know or that you are in business or something of that nature. It could be somebody who is very close and dear to you and, in fact, many times, unfortunately, it is those very people who are causing us difficulties and harm. Let's read and discuss.
Speaker 0:He says as for trust in regard to dealing with one's enemies or people who are jealous of him or those who seek his harm, the correct approach is as follows In regard to all their matters, he should rely on the protection of the creator. Now he says protection over here. Right, because we need to be protected from these individuals. People are coming to do us harm, and the only one who could afford us real protection is the creator. So in order to deal with these people properly, we need to be able to rely on the fact that God is our protector. He should tolerate their insults. You hear this? This, by the way, guys, I'm just going to give you a little preamble. This is the highest level achievable. Okay, the Torah does not demand this of us from every single situation, but it's certainly just like everything else. The Torah demands from us that we give an effort. He says we should tolerate their insults and not repay them in kind. We should not do to them what they have done to us. That is a big desire for a lot of people to say you hurt me, I'm going to hurt you back, and oftentimes I'm going to hurt you back even more than you've hurt me. To teach you a lesson. He says we should not do this. We're not allowed to take revenge. It is a negative commandment. He says we should not repay them in kind. Instead, he should repay them with kindness and do for them any good that he can.
Speaker 0:You hear this? Somebody is coming at you and they've got the worst for you in mind. They're coming to hurt you. They're coming to either physically or emotionally hurt you and what he's saying is that you should do for them good, you should go out of your way to do for them positive things. It's unbelievable, like I don't know anybody that I can think of off the top of my head who approaches life this way, reminding himself that his benefit and harm are solely in the hands of the creator, and if they are actually successful in harming him and being a cause of harm, then he should think positively of them. Come on now, right, we'll talk about this in a second and should suspect himself and his deeds, meaning the wrongful things that he previously did before God, as the reason for this harm.
Speaker 0:Guys understand, when somebody is coming at you to hurt you, it doesn't matter if it's a family member, a judge in a courtroom, a police officer on the side of the road, the taxman, a parent, it doesn't matter who it is. If somebody is coming to hurt you and they succeed at it, what's the mindset? The mindset is I'm not holding this person accountable. It is not them who are doing this to me. It is my creator who is allowing this. These people are simply the agents that are operating on behalf of God. I deserve this. I need to take this and understand that there is a lesson behind here. I need to rummage through my deeds. I need to go back and think what have I done wrong that I need to improve? And therefore, instead of holding them accountable and making them the reason that you're dealing with this, it's actually inward reflection. It's me. I'm the one I need to fix myself. This person is doing me a favor. You understand what a mindset. This person is doing me a favor and therefore I have to work on myself and, at the same time, I need to repay them with kindness to say God used you as an agent and therefore I am appreciative of that and I'm going to do kindness for you guys.
Speaker 0:Whole other level there are few people. At the same time, you should understand that when you apply this approach, there are few people on planet earth who, after coming at you, when they see you repaying them with kindness, they cease and desist all bad behavior immediately. Very few people will continue or can continue to behave badly in that scenario. There are people I'm not saying there aren't, but the vast majority of good people who are well put together who have come at you and have brought you down and hurt you, and you repay them with kindness. 99% of those people are not able to continue with the negative behavior. They're just not. You've effectively diffused the situation, but it takes a giant and I'm talking about you, a giant to be able to approach somebody who's hurt you with kindness and love. It takes a giant. Again, the Torah doesn't demand it of you. It makes a request that you have to make an effort, and if you want the secrets of success that are being shared in this podcast to help you improve your life, then you will do your best to be able to implement this approach.
Speaker 0:Now there is a caveat, and it's funny how God works, because I just heard from somebody last night who I haven't spoken to in a long time an old friend who reached out to me after listening to podcasts and realizes that I take an approach to life that is based in Torah and is looking for a little bit of wisdom outside of. Rabbis and older people who might be a little bit stuck in their ways reached out with some questions regarding this very thing. How do you deal with people in this case, it happens to be family members, sisters, parents, whoever it may be who are coming at them and making their life difficult. How do you deal with them? What's the right approach? Now, it's not coincidence that I'm reading this today. Okay, everything is perfect. There is no such thing as coincidence. So if you're listening to this podcast today which I'm going to reach out to you later on and make sure that you do then you will understand that this was put here specifically for you. So I'm going to give a caveat, and the caveat is what I already discussed with that individual, and that is that this applies to people who are generally good people, people who are coming at you, who you know are generally good people.
Speaker 0:They are not people who we call in the Torah a chole nefesh. A chole nefesh is a real thing. It's translated as a sick soul, as an individual. The Rambam speaks about this, maimonides speaks about this. A sick soul is somebody who goes against nature, somebody who tastes sweet as sour and sour as sweet, somebody who conducts themselves in this life in a way where they think that the right approach to life is the exact opposite that everybody else thinks. They go against societal norms. What most good people know to be good, positive behavior, they see as negative and vice versa. What we see as negative behavior they see as positive, and oftentimes they think they're right. They think that if everybody would just fall in line and be more like them then this world would be a better place. That's how warped some of these people's minds are.
Speaker 0:Unfortunately, these are people who have sick souls and they need a real, serious help, and there are ways to help these people. If you know them, I know them. If you know them, I'm happy to tell you what the Torah tells you in order to be able to get them help. But that's not who we're talking about here. Those people who are a chole nefesh, which means it is ingrained in them, it is in their fabric of their being to be able to make everybody miserable, to be able to inject toxicity into every single relationship, that everything that they do runs counter to what good, normal people would do.
Speaker 0:If you know this individual, that's not who we're talking about. If they're coming at you, you now have a mitzvah. You have a commandment to distance yourself from those people. You have an obligation to keep them out of your life and out of your family's life your spouse and your children. They should not be allowed into your lives because they are going to make your life very, very difficult. And, as I was saying to this other individual, life is already difficult on so many levels. We should not be looking to invite more difficulties into our lives. Sometimes it's easy it's somebody who's arm's length, it's somebody who's an acquaintance. We can easily detract from that individual or detach from them entirely. Sometimes it's more difficult it's a sibling or it's a parent. God forbid. These situations exist. There are ways to deal with them. That's not who we're talking about here.
Speaker 0:We're talking about somebody who's coming at you, who is normally a good, well put together person, who is giving you rebuke, who is causing you harm, literally causing you harm. You have to stop and say wait a second, why did this happen? Why was it allowed to take place? And you have to look inward first and understand that I do something for this. Maybe I did, and even if you don't know what that thing is, you have to assume Chavot HaLevavot is telling us that it comes from you. It was your fault. You have to take ownership of it, do an accounting of your life and make some positive change and respond to this individual with love and kindness, because they are still the same person, but they were given authority to come at you and cause you harm.
Speaker 0:Now, if you've come back to them and you've treated them fairly and kindly and with love, and yet it persists and it continues. It's an ongoing thing and you've checked and you've done an inventory and you've impacted positive change in your life, and yet these people still keep coming at you and almost every exchange is a negative one and hurtful to you, then guess what, my friends? These people may be becoming a Chol HaNefesh and you have an obligation. The first obligation is to you and your family. If you see this becoming a regular occurrence and you've done your homework and you've done your soul searching and you've implemented positive change, and it still happens, my friends, it's time to turn and run, remove yourself from that relationship and find positive people to be able to surround yourself with in this life.
Speaker 0:Relationships are supposed to be positive and uplifting. Here and there, somebody comes at you and corrects you. They are a messenger of Hashem to be able to tell you to stop and take an accounting. Recognize that, improve yourself. That's why you should accept rebuke with love, it says With absolute love, because it raises you, it elevates you, it gives you insight into who you are.
Speaker 0:Oftentimes we don't know. We have to take a step back. We have to look at ourselves from the outside, looking in as other people see us. We don't see that it's very difficult. So when we're given that insight because God sent us a messenger then stop. Don't blame them, don't go on the attack immediately. Don't be defensive. Understand that there is a message in here. Do that soul searching, my friends. It's for your benefit. And at the end of the day, let's finish it off with what he says. Either way, if one has enemies, he should implore God and ask him to atone for his sins. Then, if he does this, his enemies will turn back from their hostility and begin to love him, just as I mentioned. As the wise one King Solomon said, when God favors a man's ways, even his enemies will make peace with him. My friends, I wish this on myself and on you. You want to talk about taking life to a whole other level. This is it, my friends. We will continue tomorrow. Have an amazing day.
