The Trust Factor
A daily lesson that focuses on achieving unparalleled success in life using ancient wisdom in modern times.
We will be discussing critical concepts as they are laid out in the book Sha'ar Habitachon - The Gate of Trust. Written 1000 years ago, the author reminds us of the values and wisdom that have allowed humanity to thrive throughout history.
The concept of trusting in a higher power that exists purely for our benefit, puts us in the drivers seat with absolute confidence to achieve greatness.
Eliminate: Fear, Hatred, Anxiety, Depression, Jealousy, Greed...forever!
* Note that some terminology will be in the original Hebrew or Aramaic which I will always follow with the English translation.
The Trust Factor
Episode 143 - God Complex Alert: When Helping Others Goes Wrong
What makes a good deed truly good? It's not about the action itself, but the heart behind it. In this compelling episode of The Trust Factor, we explore the fascinating concept of mitzvahs (commandments and good deeds) performed between people, contrasting them with those performed between ourselves and our Creator.
We unpack why helping others purely for their benefit can lead to disappointment, frustration, and that all-too-familiar feeling behind the saying "no good deed goes unpunished." When our actions are misunderstood, unappreciated, or even rejected by those we're trying to help, we're left feeling unfulfilled. But there's a profound spiritual solution.
The secret lies in our intention. By performing good deeds not for recognition, reward, or reciprocation, but as a way to emulate God's giving nature, we transform ordinary actions into divine connections. God gives constantly without expectation of return—and when we do the same, we naturally draw closer to Him through our behavior.
Yet this path comes with a serious warning: helping others regularly can subtly lead to a dangerous "God complex." Those in positions of service must vigilantly guard against feeling superior or authoritative over those they help. Without humility, our attempts to do good can paradoxically become harmful, undoing the spiritual purpose behind our actions.
The episode concludes with a fascinating revelation that the same good deed can yield dramatically different spiritual rewards based not on what was done, but how it was approached. Listen now to discover how to maximize the divine benefit of your actions while maintaining the humility that makes them truly meaningful. Subscribe to The Trust Factor and join us tomorrow as we continue this essential conversation about finding the best way to serve others.
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Trust Factor, the podcast that guarantees your success when you implement its divine, age-old teachings. We are continuing, but now we're reading from the book. Yesterday and the day before, we introduced this concept of doing mitzvahs, doing commandments, deeds, good deeds between ourselves and our fellow men. Before that, the fourth category, we were talking about mitzvahs between ourselves and our creator, tfilin Talit all these different examples of mitzvahs that we do for ourselves, as God commands us to do. That doesn't include other people. Now we're talking about other people and we rifled off so many different categories and examples like giving charity, like teaching Torah, speaking kindly, honoring parents. We said some of these can be very, very difficult. Just for an example, honoring parents, I mean you could learn about that for weeks and months and years and still not have a full grasp of what you need to do in every single situation. It's very, very difficult because each individual parent is their own character and they have their own character and they have their own demands and requests and there are so many different requirements of how to carry out this mitzvah, what you should do and what you don't have to do. But somebody has to learn about it. Let's read over here and see how it's laid out. He says that the proper way of relying on god regarding actions of this category is that a person should hold within his heart to resolve to fulfill all of these actions and others like them. He should firmly choose to perform them and he should put effort into performing them, as we mentioned above in our discussion. In the fourth category, like I had just said in the description of our obligation to choose life, that obligation requires us to resolve with our own, on our own, effort to fulfill god's will and to do whatever we can to achieve it. He says, however, in regards to this category of mitzvahs the fifth one, which involve other people it is additionally important that all this be done specifically with the intent to come closer to God.
Speaker 0:You hear you have to want to do this for the right reasons. I gave examples yesterday. The right reason when it comes to doing things for other people, is not that you're doing it for other people. It's nice. It's nice that you could say that my intention is to help this individual and I love them and I care about them and I really want them to succeed and I really want to do it for them.
Speaker 0:If you do that, you may come out okay, but you also may not. You may come out with regrets. Why? Because sometimes people simply don't appreciate the things that you're doing for them, or they may even interpret what you're doing for them or what you're trying to do as bad. It happens so many times. What's the saying? That no good deed goes unpunished.
Speaker 0:We have all these different sayings. What are these sayings referring to? That you can try and do for people your whole life and never feel fulfilled. Why? Because it's not you that's the problem, it's them.
Speaker 0:The individuals number one don't appreciate what you're doing for them. They think that you could do a better job, they want you to do more, they want it done differently, or they don't want you to do it at all. You've gone out of your way to do something good for somebody and then they throw it in your face. They say, no, I didn't ask you to do that, or I didn't want you to do it that way, or maybe you did it. You know, maybe in your effort to do good, you negative, my friends, when you're doing something for another individual, the only reason that you should be thinking when it comes to doing this and why you're doing it is that you are doing it because God commanded you to, because God does for us all day long. That's his job. His job, by definition, is to give and to do for us, because there is nothing that we can do for him. He is perfect, with or without us. Therefore, when we're doing these things for other people, what are we doing? We're emulating him, we are being like him. That's how you come closer to God. You want to be like somebody, you want to get closer to somebody. Then you be like that individual. When you behave like that individual, then you naturally become closer to that individual. And that is the same thing over here. When you try and do for other people, you become godlike, not that you are God. Be very careful. That's what he's about to discuss next. You're not doing this because you're seeking the attention, you're not seeking the fame and discuss.
Speaker 0:Next. You're not doing this because you're seeking the attention. You're not seeking the fame and the fortune. You're not seeking the praises. That's not why you're doing this. You're not going to develop a God complex. What I'm referring to is that your behavior is emulating your creator and that, my friends, is exactly what we're put on this planet to do so.
Speaker 0:He continues and he says that we're doing this, we said, to come closer to God and not to acquire a good reputation or to receive honor among other people. That the reason that you're doing these mitzvahs is that you're waiting for somebody to reciprocate, that you're hoping that down the road, this individual might be able to do something back for you Again. Nor out of hope being rewarded by them that somehow they're going to pay you for it. Maybe you started off as a favor, but you think that if you do a good enough job, maybe you'll get rewarded for it from them. Nor in order to gain authority over them, to show them how capable you are, that you can do that which they couldn't do for themselves, and therefore you're going to hold authority over these individuals.
Speaker 0:And then he says what does he mean? He means that we don't know what the will is of Hashem when it comes to this individual. We don't know the right and the wrong. It hasn't been laid out for us, like it's been laid out that, if we want to put on tefillin for prayers, here's what you put on, here's how you put it on, here's when you put it on. These are the circumstances when you don't put it on. It's very clearly laid out for us by our sages here. We don't know. There's big question marks everywhere we turn. All we know is somebody's asked us for assistance or we know that we need to do X to help somebody, right.
Speaker 0:But there is potential now, because there was another human being involved, that I could do it wrong, that I could upset them, that I could offend them, that they could have other expectations of me and that it could be interpreted as negative. There's so many moving parts because there's another individual involved that we have to pray to God and say listen, I need help. I need help to make sure that this goes smoothly. I've taken it upon myself to be able to teach this individual or to be able to honor this individual or whatever it is. I need assistance that the outcome should be correct, not for me, but for Hashem and for this individual there. I need assistance. I can't control that. I don't know exactly what needs to be done. I'm going to make an effort and I need you at my back Now.
Speaker 0:We have to be very careful because when you're doing for other people, when you get into a position, whether you're doing things that are physical, whether you're doing things that are physical, whether you're doing things that are emotional or spiritual. You have to be careful, because the more you do this, the more you are naturally put into a position where you may feel that you have authority or that you are better than these individuals. There is a real risk that comes with that, and he's outlined that over here. Be very, very careful. Do not fall into the trap where you start to build a God complex. You don't want that. You are now doing the opposite. Everything that you're doing, though you're trying to do it for good, is actually going to be bad. You are doing this not for your own benefit. You have to maintain modesty. You have to maintain humility. When you do these things and you're helping an individual, you have to maintain humility. When you do these things and you're helping an individual, you have to do it from your heart, and that's where it goes to.
Speaker 0:Next, it starts to discuss. When you start to do these things, these acts for other people, there is the best way to do them and there is the worst way to do them. You can do them in a way that gets you the reward that that's associated with it. You could do them in a way that gets the job done and you are good with God and you're good with the individual. You got your reward. Everybody moves on and you can do it in a way that you can get the best type of reward, the most reward, for your action. You did the exact same thing. You didn't do anything different. The process was exactly the same. It was just the approach that you took to it. That was the differentiator that now allowed you to reap so much more benefit and so much more reward because of the way that you did it and that, my friends, we will discuss tomorrow. Have an amazing rest of your day, my friends.
