Episode 59 - Stop Coasting: Choose Growth, Own Your Tests, And Trust Your Creator

Feeling like you’re just getting through the week instead of living it? We open with a clear distinction between survival and growth, then show how a simple weekly pause—especially before Shabbat—can flip the script. By asking what truly improved, where joy showed up, and how our bond with the Creator changed, we trade autopilot for intention.

From there, we lean into radical honesty. Avoiding the truth drains more energy than facing it. We talk about calling problems by their names, breaking harmful illusions, and speaking straight to the Creator in simple words. Think of it like writing a love letter that admits weakness and asks for help. That posture transforms vague stress into focused steps.

A joyful wedding story becomes a lesson on timing and trust. For anyone longing to find their match, we offer hope, patience, and steady action. We also confront a tender possibility: sometimes marriage is not the assignment in this life. When that’s the case, purpose does not shrink; it shifts. Your time, money, and energy can power different forms of service and growth that only you can deliver. Accepting that with love opens doors you could not see before.

We reframe tests as precise, not random. Challenges mirror old lessons and invite us to choose differently now. Pass the test and the growth sticks; repeat the mistake and mercy offers another shot. This lens ends envy. Your friend’s path carries their own custom lessons. The strongest move is to help them carry it. Service without jealousy signals deep trust, and it turns community into a source of courage instead of comparison.

By the end, you’ll have a compact playbook: schedule reflection, be brutally honest with compassion, pray in your own words, ask for what you want, accept what comes as perfect, and help a friend cleanly. If this moved you, subscribe, share with someone who needs strength today, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway so others can find it too.

Transcript

Surviving Versus Truly Living

Reflection, Happiness, And Faith

Naming Problems To Unlock Growth

Prayer, Surrender, And Partnership

A Wedding And Hope For Waiting Hearts

When Marriage Isn’t Your Path

Tests Aren’t Random

Be Happy With Your Lot

Help Friends, Defeat Jealousy

Shabbat Wishes And Calls To Action

SPEAKER_00 0:11

Welcome to the Trust Factor Podcast, the only podcast that guarantees your success when you implement its divine age old teachings. Good morning, my friends. It's Friday. We banged out another week. I hope it was a meaningful one. I hope you didn't just get through it. Like most people do. Most people just get through life week by week, day by day, hour after hour. They literally are living as though they are just surviving. If that's you, don't feel terrible because you're in good company. Too many people live that way. I would venture to say the vast, vast, overwhelming majority of humanity live as if they are just surviving. That's what it means to survive. It's I'm going from hour to hour, day to day, week to week, year to year. That's not the way to live. That's the way to survive. If you really want to live, if you want to thrive, it means the opposite. It means that you could stop on a day like today on Friday at the end of the week, or even tomorrow during Shabbat, and reflect. Look back on your week and start to assess where I made improvements. What did I do in my life to make my life better? What did I do to get closer to my creator? Ultimately, the calculation is am I happy? If I'm not happy, that means that I don't have a relationship with my creator or it's on the rocks. I need to fix that relationship. I need to invest more in it. That is the antidote. So if you're not happy, that's where you go. That's the focus of your energy. 99% goes there. If you are content, if you are happy, then you're doing something right and you should keep doing it. But don't rest on your laurels. Don't accept the fact that things are okay or you're happy and therefore you have to let go of the reins in terms of developing your relationship with your creator. Let go of the reins for everything else. Don't try and control everything everybody does and every outcome, but take hold of that relationship with your creator and make sure that you're constantly investing in it. If you could stop every Saturday, it doesn't matter where you're holding to look back and reflect and say, what did I do that was meaningful in this week? Did I do something different or was it just a repeat of last week? I'm guilty of having repeats. Everybody is. We're human beings. We're not talking about perfect beings here. We're talking about people who were created with the tendency to make mistakes. So it's okay to find yourself week to week, even month to month, where you haven't had change. But if you're not figuring it out because you're too busy just trying to get through the days, therein lies the problem. The problem lies where you don't identify the problem. When you're just getting through life by rote, when you're taking everything for granted, when you're just trying to survive by looking towards the next hour or the end of the day or the end of the week, therein lies the problem. Acknowledge it. That's the least you should do is stop and acknowledge the fact that you're not thriving. That is the key to opening up success because without identifying the problem, it's like an Alcoholics Anonymous. I've never been, thank God I should never go. But from what I understand, if you don't accept first that there is a problem, then you're never going to fix it. And it's the same thing with all emotional instabilities. Somebody who's, God forbid, anorexic, who doesn't eat, they think they look good in their skinny, emaciated state. They're not aware that there is a problem. On the contrary, they think that they look fantastic. I heard once a long time ago a professional say that if you ever want to do an anorexic person a favor, be brutally honest with them. Tell them how terrible they look. Tell them how bad they look as skinny as they are, because in their minds, they've convinced themselves that they look better, that they're at their peak, and that's why they're doing the things that they're doing. That's why they're not eating, because they fear putting on one ounce of weight and not looking good. So if somebody who's anorexic ever asks you, how do I look? Be brutally honest so that they understand there's a problem. The problem really is with the individuals who don't point out their problems for whatever reason. And there could be many reasons, but ultimately it comes down to an insecurity, a sense that they don't want to face their challenges because they think that it comes at a cost, at a high price, at too high a price that they can't afford to pay. And it's so, so wrong because at the end of the day, once you've identified your problem, you have the creator of the world at your back. You move to him and you ask him for assistance. Hashem, I need your help. I can't do this on my own. I'm a human being, I'm flesh and blood, I've made mistakes, I'm going to continue to make mistakes, but I want to be better, I want to be stronger, I want to be the best version of me. I can't do it on my own, and I know that the best way to do it, the most effective and the most efficient way to become the best version of me is with you at my back. If I don't have you at my back, Hashem, I simply can't do it. Use those words if you want. I give you permission, I don't have copyright on them. Or use your own. Even better, that's the best way to do it. Write a love letter to your creator using your words. We're getting back into the book, my friends, but before we do, I want to wish a big Mazatov to my dear friends, the Halperns and the Blooms. We had an amazing wedding yesterday in Toronto, one that I've been looking forward to for probably the better part of ten years. Some special, special Nishamas just got married last night. After a long time waiting and searching to find the Shuddach, to find their mate, and they finally did, and what a connection it was. Not just the bride and the groom, a spectacular union that only the Shem could have crafted, but the families are just are just amazing. This is game-changing stuff, guys. Now I want you to understand the reason I'm telling you this is number one, because I want to give a big muzzle tough to this these two wonderful families. But secondly, there are people out there listeners of mine reached out to me specifically yesterday that they're having a hard time finding a match, that they want to get married, that they want to start their family and their lives. Don't be discouraged. Good things take time. Everybody has their own life, their own timeline, their own agendas as set out in the heavens. Everything is perfect. I saw it last night. You have nothing to worry about. If you're worrying, it's because you're lacking faith in your creator. You think he doesn't know what he's doing. I can assure you he does. You can assure yourself he does. All you need to do is look back on your life and be honest with yourselves. I get it. Everybody wants what they want, everybody especially when it's good things. Especially when it's I want to get married, God, I want to bring children into the world, I want to do all these wonderful things that you told me I should do. And you have a sense of urgency about it, I get it. But don't be discouraged. Accept the fact that he has a schedule agenda for you. There is a time and place for everything. And if he hears your prayers and you're doing the right things, it's just a matter of time, my friends. It's just a matter of time. Now, I also want to add to that, don't dilute yourself to remember, we've said this many times. Don't think that just because you want it, that it's something for you. There are many people who have never gotten married. There are many people who've remained singled their entire lives. But what do you do if that's the case? What do you do if this if Hashem decides it's not for you? You've been married in previous existences, you've had husbands and wives in previous existences, you've had children, you've had grandchildren and great-grandchildren. And okay, so you passed that test in the previous existence. In this one, you don't need it. Maybe it's a hindrance for you. Maybe it's going to get in the way of you achieving whatever it is that you need to achieve. And it's not even a maybe, it's a guarantee. Because after a certain amount of time, and you have to check with a qualified rabbi to tell you what that timeline is, I'm not qualified to say. But in general, the principle remains. It's what we've been learning for almost a year now. By the way, March 17th, just over two weeks from now. That's our anniversary. The anniversary, the one-year anniversary of the Trust Factor Podcast coming up March 17th. It's going to be a big day. The point is, I want to go back. I don't want to lose this train of thought. If you are not meant to be married, to have a spouse for life in this go-around, you will figure that out in any certain amount of time. Again, make sure you're speaking to somebody who can advise you. And then when you get to that point, accept with love the position that you're in and understand that your resources, your time and your energy need to be spent elsewhere. We learned this in season one in Shara Bi Tokon, the gate of trust. We talked about the fact that if you weren't married, Hashem didn't send you a spouse, it wasn't for you. You need to look at the opportunities now that you have to take all of your time and resources, all the money you make, all the extra time you have, and put it into other dimensions, into other realms of what he wants from you. And there isn't a lack, my friends. So now you have all that extra time and energy and money to be able to do good elsewhere. It's not one-dimensional. Life is not all about doing one thing and certainly not about doing the thing that you want to do. Put yourself out there, tell him what you want, accept the bad or the seemingly bad with the good. It's just as good. We just don't have eyes to see it. No tribulations without prior transgressions. Everybody needs to live with that principle. If I'm dealing with a challenge in this life, and we all do every day, it's not because the creator decided, let me throw this guy a curveball and see how he deals with it. Let me make this guy's life difficult just to test him out to see what's going on. That's not how it works. If you're dealing with a tribulation, yes, you're being tested, but you're only being tested because in a previous time, whether in this existence or previous ones, you've transgressed. You've done something that you weren't supposed to do. And so the test that you're being faced with today is are you going to repeat? Are you going to do the same thing? Are you going to make the same mistakes? Or have you grown? That's it. But you would never get that test if it wasn't deserving, which means that in the same realm in the past, you failed that test. That's all it is. It doesn't come randomly and it doesn't matter what it is. And you may transgress in this life and not be tested again for that in this life. It may be carried over into the next existence, but it's never forgotten because you need to perfect yourself. Now you don't perfect yourself 100% in one go. Nobody ever does. That's why we keep coming back. But once you've knocked it out, once you've succeeded in that realm, it gets banked. It's done. He doesn't retest you on it every time you go around. That test has been successfully completed. Now you're on to the next. But recognize that not one difficulty in your life, from the smallest to the biggest, comes randomly. It is coming as a result of your tribulation, either this go-around or in previous ones, and it is carefully and exactingly planned just for you. That's why you have your life. And that's why you can't be jealous or desire somebody else's tests. That's for him. He's failed in that department, or he's succeeded in other departments. You can't fill his shoes. He's got his life and you have yours. Be happy with your tests because the creator who knows where you need to be tested is the one orchestrating and choosing the tests, both for you and your friend. Be happy with your tests, your difficulties, your tribulations, knowing that they were custom designed for your success. And be happy for your friend that he's got his. Help your friend. If you see your friend is having a hard time and he's challenged and he can't get over his difficulties, help them. There's no coincidence that he's a friend of yours. There's no coincidence that you're surrounded by the people that you're surrounded with. They were with you in previous existences. They were part of your story. And they will either help you or hinder you in you achieving your success. So if your friend is having a hard time, there is no better way in the world to tell your creator, I have all the faith in you, I'm happy with my lot in life, than by helping your friend, especially if it's done with pure intentions. And you're saying to your creator, look, Hashem, I understand he has his test. He's my friend. I'm not jealous of him. I'm going to help him to make sure that he completes his test. There is no more powerful statement in the world because the opposite, the default that most people are in today is a sense of jealousy, is a sense of desire, is a sense of resentment. Why does he have that and I don't? I could do better things with that, I could pass that test. You have your head on backwards. That's society. Society is thinking in a way that is corrupt. When you fixed your train of thought, when you have clear perspective, then you understand that it is the exact opposite of Shem. He's got his test, he's my friend. There's no coincidence he's my friend. You put him in my life. I need to work with this individual to help him. And if he helps me out, even better. But if not, that's not why I'm doing that. I'm doing it because I want to demonstrate to myself, to him, and to you that I know who runs the show. If you live like that, life is simply beautiful. Have an amazing, meaningful, uplifting Shabbat, my friends. Again, a huge Mazaltov to my dear friends, the Halperns and the Blooms, two spectacular families, a beautiful wedding last night. And to everybody who's looking for their match for a Shiddoch, keep dovening. Shabbat, best time to doven. That's coming up. Ask sincerely and remember, whatever the answer, accept it as if it is perfect, because it is. Thank you for spending time with us on the Trust Factor Podcast. If you've heard something today that moved you, save this episode and share it with someone who might need to hear it. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss upcoming conversations that challenge, empower, and uplift. And if you're on social media, connect with us. Leave your thoughts, drop a quote that resonated with you. Hashtag the TrustFactor Podcast. Until next time, keep growing in your trust and keep living with purpose. I'm Jesse Revivo, and this has been the Trust Factor Podcast. Thanks for listening.