Episode 84 - Dance And Clean Passover Prep Without The Stress

Passover cleaning has a reputation: stress, snapping, and a house that feels more like a pressure cooker than a home. We’re flipping that script. We talk about how to prepare seriously without turning it into dread, and how one small change, putting on music and dancing while you clean, can transform the entire mood. The goal isn’t perfection. The goal is a home where your kids remember teamwork, laughter, and the feeling of freedom that Passover is meant to bring. 

We also get practical about Passover prep with a clear priority list. We focus on what matters most, starting in the kitchen and working outward to the rooms where food actually shows up. We share a simple approach that gets everyone involved: crank a favourite song, do a 15 to 20 minute clean sweep of drawers, closets, and the classic snack hiding spots, then finish the rest with a reasonable clean. And yes, we remind you we’re not a halachic authority, so checking in with your Rabbi keeps the effort focused and grounded. 

Then the conversation takes a deeper turn into leadership, authority, and self-control. If you’re a parent, teacher, or boss, we explore how power can slip into harshness, and why personal prayer, real gratitude, and a daily 24-hour self-audit can pull you back to mercy and clarity. We also break down discipline: when sternness is needed, why it must never come from inner anger, and how waiting until you’re calm protects trust and dignity. 

Subscribe to the Trust Factor Podcast, share this with someone preparing for Passover, and leave a review with the one idea you want to try this week. What song are you putting on first?

Transcript

Welcome And Passover Week Setup

Breaking The Passover Cleaning Trauma

Dance While You Clean

A Simple Plan For What To Clean

Authority And The Power Of Personal Prayer

Leading With Gratitude And Mercy

Discipline Without Anger

Closing Thoughts And How To Engage

SPEAKER_00 0:12

Welcome to the Trust Factor Podcast, the only podcast that guarantees your success when you implement its divine age old teachings. Good morning, everybody. Shavuatov. As you tune in to another episode of the Trust Factor Podcast going into the week of Passover, it is going to be the greatest Passover that we as a nation have been through in modern history. Now, there is not a Jewish home under the sun that is not in complete disarray today because they're preparing for the holiday. There is an unbelievable amount of cleaning and organizing going on. So please, let's talk about this for a couple minutes. Let's flip the script on how we do this because historically, I know a friend of mine reached out to me a few weeks ago after I talked about the trauma of cleaning for Passover by a lot of the uh Moroccan families specifically. And he said to me, you know, had my mother known these things about how to properly clean back then when I was a kid, could have spared me from many years of therapy. And it's true, while oftentimes there are people who know how to do it in a way that is pleasant and that wants to get people involved and engaged in the actual process, and it actually becomes enjoyable. So many of us have taken it so seriously, which is good, you should take it seriously, but are seeing it as a job, as a chore and making it very, very difficult. And as a result, they've got a very short fuse, and they're oftentimes taking out their frustrations on their family members. Not a good thing. That's not the memory you want people to have of cleaning for Passover. You have the ability right now to change the way your children view the process of cleaning for Passover forever and to make it an enjoyable one. I was speaking with my rabbi about this last week, and he was saying that his memories of his mother cleaning for Passover were such amazing memories. And yet, other people, especially Moroccan families, have the opposite experience. There's a lot of truth in that concept of saving us from therapy. Mothers, Moroccan women who were cleaning the house when we were younger, made sure that everybody understood that there were rules and regulations and that you shouldn't be around, and if we don't need to see you, we shouldn't see you, and you're only in the way, and they made it very, very difficult. Don't do that. Stop it. Put an end to the vicious cycle. Here's a simple idea. When you're cleaning, don't just clean. Dance and clean. Put on some music, put on your favorite tunes and dance. There's no reason you can't dance. You should be happy. Remember, we've said many times over since we got into the month of Adar, we said that a Jew's status quo is to be happy all the time. Sometimes we increase, sometimes we decrease. So if you're happy, you dance, and you have every reason to dance. If you stop and take an accounting of your life and think about all of the wonderful things that you've been given, all of the opportunities and the life and the children and the business and the job and the everything that you've got. It doesn't take much, and even if you don't want to look externally, look internally at your heart pumping and your eyes seeing and your ears hearing and the fact that you are capable. All of that is a gift. So many of us are not deserving, and yet we get it anyways because we have a loving father who runs the world. That in and of itself is enough to dance. That my father runs the world, that my father is the king of the world and that he lacks nothing, and that his only job is to do for me. I should be dancing day and night. I shouldn't be able to go to sleep at night because of my excitement to know that my father runs the world. Are you kidding me? So think about that for a second and be happy, be grateful. What an awesome life you have. And dance. We're coming up on Passover. We were freed from slavery. It could have all ended then and there, but no, Hashem came. Our father came in his love for us and his mercy, and he redeemed us from slavery and brought us out into freedom. That again is enough of a reason to celebrate and to dance. So do it. And then you can enlist your family members, and they will want to be enlisted. If they see you sweating and miserable and short-tempered and flying off the handle that everybody gets in their way, then they don't want to be around. They're only going to learn that this concept of preparing for the holiday is dreadful and they won't want to do it. They'll want to do the minimum amount possible when it comes to being their turn to prepare for their family's holiday. Do everything you can to make it an enjoyable process and enlisting the people who are around you to dance with you while you clean. Make dancing primary and cleaning secondary. As long as you're being thorough in your cleaning, focus on your kitchen. That's your primary concern. Your number one concern is your kitchen. Focus on it, get into the cracks and crevices. Make sure you're dealing with the pots and pans properly and the cutlery and the plates and do all that stuff. That's the heavy lifting. Then focus on the rest of the house. Focus on the rooms where there's a good probability that food was there. Go into your dining room. Focus. Go into the office if that's where you're having snacks and clean out those areas afterwards. But the core should be in the kitchen and make sure that everybody turns on their favorite song and focuses on their room. Guys, go to your rooms, turn on the music, crank it up loud, and spend 15, 20 minutes going through your drawers, going through your clothes, going through places where you normally stash your snacks and make sure that you haven't got anything over there. Check under the bed, check these places, go through and do a clean sweep. And then you can do a reasonable clean on the rest of the house. That's it, my friends, and you're ready for this holiday of Passover. Of course, remember, again, I'm not a rabbi. I'm not a halachic authority. If you don't have one, you should get one. But always confer with your rabbi. How much is enough? How much is not enough? Where should I be focusing my efforts on, and where should I not be concerned with? Very important, my friends. Do it right the first time, and it'll be enjoyable year after year. Let's get back into where we left off about this individual who's got authority over other individuals. It could be one, it could be many, and it could even be you. You could be the person who is in the position of authority. And he talks very candidly about this. I actually like very much where he's going with this. He says that we said that prayer is the way to make sure that you don't falter in this area. Prayer, take that additional hour of personal prayer and speak to your creator. That is the antidote to making sure that you don't make the mistake of abusing your position of authority. Reach out to your creator for help and he will help. Because it comes from the heart and it's in your own words. That's the critical component. It's not a structured prayer, it's personal prayer. In your car, at home, in your office, close the door, lock the door, and take an hour for yourself. It could be after you're done your lunch, you eat quickly, and then you focus in on your relationship with your creator and ask him for more strength and more clarity to be able to be successful. Thank him for all the blessings you have. Take nothing for granted. Weigh the deeds of your last 24 hours. Think about it. What have I done over the last 24 hours? Who have I interacted with? Have I abused my power or have I acted fairly and kindly? Ask for forgiveness if you've done something wrong. Simple. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. Ask for forgiveness. Speak the words. Make sure your ears hear your mouth. Because if it's not heard, it's not real. Ask him for all your needs. It's the strongest expression and manifestation of Emuna. When you can block out the world and spend one hour talking out into the ether, looking up into the clouds, or closing your eyes and imagining your conversation with your creator and having that conversation of thank you and asking, that, my friends, is the pinnacle level of the manifestation of Emuna. You're acknowledging in your deeds, in your actions, and in your words that there is a God and I know who runs the world. And that's why I'm going to speak to him. Because I have to ask of him. And because he's given to me in the past so many times, I have to be grateful. Gratitude is critical, my friends. If you're not grateful, you will miss out on life. Period. You will see everything in darkness. You will not see the light and the beauty of everything that happens in this world. As soon as you become grateful, as soon as you start looking at the people who've done good for you and saying thank you and acknowledging that good, suddenly the light shines bright. All of a sudden, the world becomes a spectacular place. Just like that, not doing anything else, just being grateful. A person of authority must therefore do his utmost to perform his job faithfully. He shouldn't be cruel and he should be considerate of other people's feelings and not treat them with disdain. If you find that you're doing that, it's time for a change, my friends. It's time for some introspection and to change your approach to your job. He should use his position to do as much good for others as he possibly can. And if in the course of fulfilling his responsibilities, he must discipline, educate, or punish somebody, because that can happen, then he should do it with extreme mercy and explain to the person under his authority why he must act in this specific way. If when you're put into a position of authority, your natural definition or understanding of that role is a disciplinarian, you've missed the role. You've missed the purpose. Because unless you're a prison warden, unless you are in that specific situation where your entire job is as a disciplinarian, and even then, there is a right way to do that. There is a good way and a bad way to do that. And it's not always about discipline. It's about elevating somebody. It's about teaching them right from wrong in a positive way, positive reinforcement. That's something that's gone by the way of the dinosaurs. Today everybody's reinforcement is negative. They go for the jugular. Why? People are capable of learning. They're capable of understanding simple messages, especially when it comes from a position of love. When somebody sees that you care about them and you're not just their boss, you really want to see them thrive and you're willing to educate them through a gentle, guiding, loving hand, then the response is that much more powerful. When somebody dreads coming to work because they know that their boss is going to be all over them and because they are only disciplinarians, it's not a positive work environment. And you're contributing to that by being that disciplinarian. You can discipline with love, my friends. And that's what he's saying over here. Look for opportunities to help the people who you have authority over. By definition, if you have authority over them, that means you can also help them. It's not just putting them down or disciplining them. You have that additional obligation. It actually should be reversed. It should be that first your job is to elevate them. First, your job is to show them the right way with a gentle, kind, loving hand. And only if you're put in a position where you have to discipline somebody or punish them, then you have to bring out the big guns. But even then, you have to do it in a gentle way. And you have to make sure, this is another point that's not in the book, but that I've read many times, that it doesn't bring you down. If you find yourself in a situation, let's say you're a teacher and a child does something really damaging to another child, does something really bad, and you now have to discipline that child. And you know that that child is has already been disciplined in the past many times in a loving and caring manner, but it hasn't sunk in. The kid is not getting it. He's getting worse. And you know that you have to resort to sternness. You have to resort to being mean, to being upset. You have to know that when you're doing it, it is all an act. It is simply an act just to get that kid to straighten out. Because sometimes kids need that. Certain kids need to know that there are serious repercussions and a stern hand is watching, and that they need to have a sense of fear and awe, because fear is a real motivator. But be careful because if you're coming at that kid with the fire that is burning inside of you because you've been rattled up, because you've been shaken by this whole scenario, and now you're on fire on the inside, and then you start to discipline this child with that fire that's inside of you, you've lost. You've lost completely. The right way to do it is to first make sure there's no fire burning inside of you. Make sure you aren't emotionally charged. And if that means you don't discipline them on that day, then you don't. You discipline them the next day, you sleep on it, you go home and you bring yourself down. However long it takes for you to come down from that emotional high of being on fire and upset because this child did something for the umpteenth time to negatively affect another student, you have to bring yourself down. Then and only then can you approach this child in a way that seems to the child on the outside that you are livid, that you are very upset. You could even raise your voice, you could furrow your eyebrows, you could say all the things that you need to say within reason, obviously, to make sure that it is above board. But on the inside, you are cool as a cucumber. You are doing the whole thing as an act just to get the message across to this kid who needs to be motivated by fear. But internally, you are completely at peace. As soon as you're done with that child, you turn around and you've got a smile on your face. Nothing fazed you. Why? Because you brought yourself down. You didn't approach the situation from that pinnacle of fire that's inside of you, that shooting back from the hip that so many of us do when we're put in these types of emotionally charged situations. Stay quiet. Don't respond. Let a few minutes pass, let a few hours pass, let a day pass, as long as you need to make sure that you are coming to this child from a position of love. Even with the furrowed eyebrows, it could still be and needs to be from a position of love. When you do that, my friends, Hashem recognizes and sees your actions, and he doesn't forget. Remember, it says the divine eye sees and the divine ear hears everything. And all of our deeds are recorded forever, my friends. Think about that. Oftentimes we're not given second and third chances. Oftentimes we only have one shot, especially when it comes to impacting another individual and improving their quality of life, or God forbid, doing the opposite. That sums it up for today. Please enjoy. I mean that seriously. I know it doesn't seem to jive historically, but you can enjoy your cleaning. Put the music on and start dancing, my friends. Clean away, enjoy the process, build amazing memories for your kids and your grandchildren so that they can continue to do the same thing when it comes to their turn. Have an amazing day, my friends. We'll chat tomorrow. Thank you for spending time with us on the Trust Factor Podcast. If you've heard something today that moved you, save this episode and share it with someone who might need to hear it. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss upcoming conversations that challenge, empower, and uplift. And if you're on social media, connect with us. Leave your thoughts, drop a quote that resonated with you. Hashtag the TrustFactor Podcast. Until next time, keep growing in your trust and keep living with purpose. I'm Jesse Revivo, and this has been the Trust Factor Podcast. Thanks for listening.