Episode 150 - Life-Changing Secrets That Could Save Your Family

Episode 150 

✨ **We made it to Friday!** Thank God for another week completed! 🙌 Whether it was a rollercoaster or smooth sailing, it’s time for a reset as we enter Shabbat. 

💭 **Feeling overwhelmed?** Take this moment to disconnect and reflect. If the week was tough, consider what you can change moving forward. If it was great, let’s express gratitude! 

🔑 Remember, no matter the challenges, **you have the power to change** your circumstances. Just like our Creator gives us opportunities to grow and learn, we must also keep the door open for ourselves and others. 

🌈 So, whether you’re facing family struggles or personal battles, know this: **transformation is always possible.** Let’s embrace it together! 

What’s one thing you’re grateful for this week? Share in the comments! 

👉 **Listen to the full episode for more insights!** 

#shabbatshalom #FridayThoughts #personalgrowth #familymatters  #gratitude #thetrustfactorpodcast #jewishpodcasts

Transcript

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This is life-changing information. This is information that can save your best friend or your family members' marriage. It can allow their children to have a father again. It can allow for marital bliss, but you have to share it. You have to tell people that there is an alternative that makes sense because if you don't and they continue in the same destructive path, the fact that they got kicked out of the house will lead them to doing all the things that their advisors, like we said yesterday, will tell them to do. Namely, all the wrong things.

SPEAKER_01 0:31

The trust factor is a ticket to a bad life. The trust factor shows you how to get through the life.

SPEAKER_00 0:41

Good morning, everybody. It's Friday. We made it another week. Thank God. It's Shabbat T G I S. We're going into Shabbat, but let's do it with some clarity when it comes to the family unit. I really hope, I really, really hope that nobody is dealing with the things that I'm talking about over here. I know that's a bit ridiculous to expect, but I'm really hoping that the people who are listening to this podcast are not affected by such difficulties and challenges. I can't even begin to understand how difficult it might be to be in this position where you don't have access to your family, you don't have access to your wife and your children, you don't have access to your home, which is supposed to be your place where you it's your go-to place, your safe place, so to speak. It's your place to unaligned, it's your domain. And suddenly you're not able to access it, which means you're not able to interact daily with your children and your spouse. I can't imagine that. But I'm sure there are people dealing with it. And those who are, I want you to listen carefully. The bottom line of what you're about to understand here, and it doesn't just apply with relationships, it applies everywhere, is that we are able to make changes. I want to make that clear. People have asked me in the past, do you have enemies? And my answer is always no. Thank God I don't have any enemies. There isn't an individual in the world who I hate. As an individual, this is a concept that a lot of people have to understand. People may not like the way that other people behave, whether it's a spouse or a child, a parent, a friend, an acquaintance, it doesn't matter. If you don't like the way that somebody behaves, you're not supposed to hate the individual. Who do we learn this from? We learn this from our creator. Hashem doesn't hate us when we do the wrong things. He hates our choices. And there's a very, very big difference. Your creator loves you no matter what, because he understands that deep down inside of you is a diamond in the rough that there is in the Shama, there is a spark of divinity, there's a piece of him that's inside of you. So how can he hate you? Doesn't make sense. What he hates are your actions, are your choices, or your lack of actions, your lack of a willing desire to learn and to grow and to connect back to him. And so if that's what's driving him, it should drive us also to understand that we should not hate our fellow brothers and sisters. We can hate their actions, we can hate the choices that they've made. But as long as we are alive, as long as we are above ground, we have the ability to change. The rule is that the longer you don't, the more difficult it becomes. The more you become steeped in the lifestyle that you're in, and you find yourself making excuses to remain in that comfortable, cushy place, even though it's dark. You know, this also applies to people with mental illness. A lot of times people self-sabotage. Why? Because they're not familiar with the feeling of goodness. They're not familiar with the feeling of change, and they're scared of it. As human beings, oftentimes we're scared of change. And so, because of that, they often self-sabotage. They start to make progress, they start to come out of that dark, warm, cushy place where they're hibernating and hiding away from the rest of the world. And all of a sudden, it starts to feel good. It starts to feel too good and it's unfamiliar. Do you know what's familiar? That dark, warm, solitary place. So they go back there of their own will. The reason I'm telling you this is because no matter where you find yourself, if it's just having a spat with your spouse, or you've been kicked out of the house, or anywhere in between, you have the ability to change the situation because you have the ability to change yourself. You are above ground. So we have to always give people the opportunity. Just like Hashem says, I'm going to give you the opportunity to repent. We have to give people that opportunity. It doesn't mean that you're around them 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Sometimes you have to put distance between you. Sometimes that person needs to go away for a little while. Sometimes you have to disconnect from that toxic relationship in order for that person to figure life out, if to give them the space to do that. But the door always has to be open just a crack. Just a crack. You open the door to see who's there and to have a conversation. To open up that door all the way requires that they prove to you that they've made real change. That's a different conversation. If they haven't made that real change, then that door stays open just a crack. But they always know that they have a door to come back to, if that makes sense. Let's get back into it. We're talking about that individual who's tried to make his way back into the house. The book is calling it a wonderful gift. What's the gift? An evicted husband now has the time and the quiet that he needs to contemplate and fix whatever he needs. A lot of the time, the reason that we suffer is because we are inundated. We are kept crazy busy, putting up fires every day. Everybody's vying for our attention, and that leaves us little to no time for ourselves to contemplate our lives. All of season one and most of season two, I've been telling you that we need to take that time out to do that introspection and figure out how we're doing. And the minimum in my mind that you should do it is every Shabbat, at least once a week. But really, you need to do it three times a day. How am I doing? How am I working out? And there's a positive correlation between how often you assess your life and the choices you're making and how successful your life is. If you're flying by the seat of your pants and you don't care to stop and assess, you're going to continue to make the same mistakes that are weighing you down. So here he's now saying the fact that you're out of the house, the fact that you no longer have to worry about this person pulling at you, your spouse, your children, your in-laws, none of these people are pulling at you anymore. So now you have the time to sit and contemplate what did I do wrong and how do I fix it? Sometimes it's debts, money owed, that triggers the problem in the home. He now has the opportunity to quietly seek a resolution to his debt problems without all the friction that he had at home. This takes us back to the beginning of season one, where I explain to you that through this podcast, through this book, and through the Torah, you will learn to gain everlasting peace. You will learn to be the best version of yourself. You won't be impacted by all of the negative character traits that exist in the world. Here's one example. This is an individual who is clearly lacking in the department of Imuna, clearly doesn't have a relationship with his creator to the point where he was kicked out of his house and now has no access to his wife and his children. And he has money problems. And oftentimes it's those very same financial stresses that drive people to behave in a negative way. They can't manage the pressure, they can't manage the stress, and they take all of that out on the family. They can't leave it at the door. They bring it home with them. That becomes a toxic environment that oftentimes that's what leads to somebody being kicked out of the house. You would never have this problem if you understood that God gives you your income. If you knew that all you needed to do was get up and make an effort, and what you have coming to you will come, not any more or any less. There are ways to impact it. We've talked about that. But generally speaking, what you have coming to you will come as long as you get up and make an effort. If you know that, not that you believe that, believing it leaves room for doubt. When you know that with absolute certainty, there's no amount of money problems in the world that will bother you. And if they do bother you, it's fleeting. It's temporary. It gets under your skin a little bit. It's aggravating. Okay, I get it. But let me put things in perspective. Who gave me that money in the first place? Where did it come from? A negative character trait also often destroys domestic peace. Maybe he has a quick temper. Listen to this. Or maybe he's lazy. Maybe he's stingy or ungrateful. Now he has the time to work on himself and correct these traits. Think about every one of these traits and what I just finished telling you. Quick temper. Do you know what one of God's traits are? That he's slow to anger. Lazy? Somebody who operates the world 24 hours a day, seven days a week, all of the seasons, all of the galaxies, all of the blades of grass that grow, everything is intimately managed on top of the fact that he's involved in eight billion lives every single generation. So clearly he's not lazy, right? Stingy. His entire existence is just to give. Ungrateful, right? These are all the traits that we need to learn to undo. These are all the traits that we were put in this world to be able to refine, to be able to stop being like this and being more godly. This individual lacks a muna, he lacks the knowledge that he has to connect back to his creator. And as a result of that, he's developed all of these different negative traits and he hasn't been given the time to reflect on how to fix them. If he has a serious problem like addiction to drugs, God forbid, alcohol or gambling, or if he's violent, now he has the free time that he needs to seek help and to try and uproot these problems. With Amuna, the evicted husband is undaunted. The problem is they don't go together. All of these negative character traits don't line up with the concept of Amuna. You understand? So the problem now becomes how do we get this individual who clearly is lacking Amuna, and that's what got him kicked out in the first place, to all of a sudden make him want to seek out a relationship with his creator and to develop Amuna, which will save him over here. That's the problem. Bridge that gap and you have your answer. If you're listening to this and you know somebody in this situation, send them the podcast, send them the episode, let them listen to it. This is life-changing information. This is information that can save your best friend or your family members' marriage. It can allow their children to have a father again. It can allow for marital bliss, but you have to share it. You have to tell people that there is an alternative that makes sense. Because if you don't and they continue in the same destructive path, the fact that they got kicked out of the house will lead them to doing all the things that their advisors, like we said yesterday, will tell them to do. Namely all the wrong things, as opposed to doing the things that we need to do. The hard heavy lifting of refining our character, figuring out what we did wrong in order that we can fix it. He sees his current predicament as a golden opportunity to improve his life and the life of his family. That's if he understands that there's a God. That's if he understands that there's a solution. If he doesn't, then he ends up miserable and a victim, where he's now blaming everybody but himself. But the person who knows, who's figured it out, uses his time the best way he can, and he prays hard and long that the creator should help him to rectify whatever needs rectification. And then what happens? When somebody figures out what they've done wrong and they refine their character and they start to behave in a different manner, which is very difficult. It's a lot easier said than done. Remember, I told you in the past that sometimes just changing one character trait can take you a lifetime, but you have to try. But when somebody does and they have success in changing that character trait, they suddenly flip and they go from being somebody with zero amuna who thinks it's all them and is miserable and a victim, goes to all of a sudden the opposite end of the spectrum, where now they realize there's a creator and everything is perfect, and in fact they're not a victim, then they have what to be grateful for every second of the day. Suddenly they change, their ego melts away. Ego, by the way, by men, is a toxic killer. That's why God chose Moses. God chose Moses because the one trait that God complimented of Moses was the fact that he was the most modest of all men, that he was the most humble, and that's why he chose them to be the leader. What's the opposite of humility? Somebody with an ego. The ego oftentimes gets in the way. So if a man is capable of removing that ego by recognizing that there's a creator and working on himself, he changes his approach to life. As a result, he changes his behavior, and as a result of that, the wife responds differently to him. And the children respond differently to him. He can literally overnight flip the script on life, go into a house that was once toxic and negative and full of accusations and challenges and maybe even, God forbid, violence, and turn it into marital bliss. Just like that. How? Recognize that you have an ego, recognize that you've been behaving badly, figure out there is a creator who runs the world, tap into his system, establish that relationship, ask for assistance, change the person you are, go from negative to positive, bring that back to the house. I guarantee you that everything will work out. It's not my guarantee, in fact, it's God's guarantee. It's your creator. He gave you the manual. All you need to do is follow it, my friends, and you will have an amazing life. In the meantime, have an amazing Shabbat, and then have an amazing week. We'll speak again on Sunday. Thank you for spending time with us on the Trust Factor Podcast. If you've heard something today that moved you, save this episode and share it with someone who might need to hear it. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss upcoming conversations that challenge, empower, and uplift. And if you're on social media, connect with us. Leave your thoughts, drop a quote that resonated with you. Hashtag the TrustFactor Podcast. Until next time, keep growing in your trust and keep living with purpose. I'm Jesse Revivo, and this has been the Trust Factor Podcast. Thanks for listening.