Episode 162 - Start Fresh Concede Defeat

The hardest step isn’t being right — it’s being willing to admit when you were wrong. Growth starts with humility, and every day is a chance to begin again. #trustfactorpodcast #GrowthMindset #faith #selfimprovement  #marriageadvice  #personalgrowth

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

If your eyes were open and you're listening to this podcast, there is always an opportunity to start fresh. But it starts with concession. It starts with conceding defeat. I did wrong. I made bad choices, but I can better myself. And I'm going to do it starting at now. You could do that at ten. And you could do that at a hundred. It's a lot easier at ten. But you can also do it at a hundred, though much, much more difficult. Maybe you've given up hope, but the creator hasn't given up hope on you. You can't keep doing what you're doing. You can't keep sitting on the train going the wrong way and hope that you're going to get to your destination. It will never happen. On the contrary, you're going to get farther and farther away.

SPEAKER_01 0:47

The trust factor is a ticket to a better life. The trust factor shows you how to get through the night.

SPEAKER_00 0:57

This is the Trust Factor Podcast. Thank you for joining us today, my friends. We're going to wrap up a little bit over here. Not really entirely wrapping up because we're only halfway through the book, and you know that a lot of these ideas repeat themselves in different contexts. But we're going to kind of stop, take a little bit of a pause, and put things into perspective because the book's been hitting us over the head. You might think it's me. It's not. Okay, maybe it's a little bit with me. But the book has been hitting us over the head to try and keep us on the straight and narrow because nobody else is going to do it. The straight and narrow that the rest of the world wants you to be on is their own straight and narrow, which is not necessarily the right one. It's one that's going to end up even worse. But here, this is one that's brought by our creator, by the entity that needs nothing. He is complete. He has everything that he could ever need and want. His entire purpose is just to give. This is completely altruistic. That's why when it comes across, even though sometimes it's harsh, even though sometimes it's a tough pill to swallow, you know, as soon as you hear it, you know it's absolute truth. It may not resonate well with you. And if that's the case, then it's time for some more introspection. But that doesn't mean that it's not true. On the contrary, because it resonates with you, that means that it's finding a home and it has clout. It makes sense. Think about it. If it had no connection to you, if you couldn't relate to these ideas at all, then you wouldn't even contemplate them. The very fact that you're contemplating them means stop and review and reassess your life. But now we're going to just kind of put things in perspective. So it says, with all of this in mind, we need to do everything that we can to be able to concede whatever we need to concede in order to save our marriage and avoid divorce. What do you need in order to make concessions to concede? Which basically means to negate yourself. I'm conceding to you. When an election is done, the one who lost calls the other and concedes. Defeat. You won, I lost, and I'm okay with that. I'm man enough to own it. But you could see, I was talking to you a few days ago about how this concept of ego is destroying the fabric of humanity, including political elites, because that's where we learn it from. There are examples of how to behave, of what to do and what not to do, unfortunately. And you see, election after election, it's becoming more and more common for the loser not to concede or to pull as long as they can before they go back and make that phone call to say, you won and I lost. And I can only imagine what that call is like. And a lot of times they just do it because the public demands it of them. But do they really feel the way that they do when they call and concede defeat? That's a different conversation. This is not politics. This is your wife. This is your husband. This is your children. This is your life that you built. If you're not willing to do whatever it takes to concede, to say I was wrong in order to save that family unit that you built, then my friend, you know clearly why it is where you are today. And now you have to go back and work on yourself. And the question is begged. Now it comes. So let's say I didn't get the book in time. Let's say the Trust Factor podcast should have come out five years ago, because maybe it would have saved my marriage. And I missed that boat. Now I'm in a position where I'm divorced once, twice, three times. Does that mean it's over? I'm done. I'm damaged goods. I'm never going to be able to have a good relationship, one that's lasting? And the answer is no. Never is that the case. Absolutely not. As long as you are above ground, as long as God opens up your eyes and gives you another crack at this thing called life, that means you have every opportunity to build a perfect life for you and those around you. We have this thing called repentance called chuva, which means coming back, returning, doing the right thing. And as long as you're not six feet under, you can do that any second of any day. Whether you do or you don't is entirely up to you. God has all the patience in the world. As long as those eyes of yours were open in the morning, that means you can start fresh all over again. And I don't care how bad the situation is. I really don't. You have an opportunity to make things right and continue to grow. The time that comes when he says, I'm done, there's no more opportunity for you to grow, you will know because that will be too late. It will be your last day. There's a saying, and I don't know who it's attributed to. I heard a while ago that they tried to attribute it to the Chabad Rabbi, but I think that was busted. Either way, it says, Your birthday was the day that God decided that the world cannot exist without you. And that goes to confirm what I just said, that if he keeps you here, it's because he needs you to be here. You have to be here. You need you to be here because there's still more that needs to get done, and you can still achieve a whole new level of greatness. When he doesn't need you over here, then it becomes worrisome. When the clock has run out, then you have no more opportunities. So now the question becomes there's going to be two reasons why he's done with you, why you no longer have opportunities to continue in this life. One is you've achieved your purpose. You've succeeded in doing what you were brought here to do. And Hashem says, good on you. There's no more reason for you to suffer in this world. There's no more reason for you to deal with all of the lies and the cheating and the corruption and the disease and all the other things that this world is known for. So God plucks you out of this world and takes you to a world of eternity, a world of peace, a world of truth, a world where the Nishama does not want to come back down to this world. We don't know about that unless you learn about it, but that's exactly what the next world is. We're brought back here by force because over there we have clarity. So Hashem says, I'm done with you. And he plucks you out and brings you over here. You don't need to suffer anymore. Now you can live in eternity of bliss. That's the reason number one that he said, it's time for you to go. But reason number two is, God forbid, you simply did not achieve what you were supposed to achieve. And he waited very, very patiently and he understood what you didn't, which was that you are not going to ever change who you are. And God says, why? Why waste another second of precious time when we can reset, bring them back, and push the reset button, which is not a fun process, my friend, because now the second the nishama leaves the body, it has complete clarity. And they say that it is so difficult, so painful for the nishamah to part from the body. The question is, why? Why is it so painful? And the answer is because the nishama, the soul, the human soul, is unlimited in its abilities. It is godlike. The second the soul departs from the body, it has complete clarity on everything that happens in this world. We have absolute clarity on why we were here, what our purpose was, the good choices we make, the bad choices we make. And suddenly we realize how much better we could have done, how much more we could have achieved. We didn't know that when the soul was in the body. So that's why it's painful because now the soul is on the outside looking at the body and thinking, wow, how much more could I have done? That, by the way, just as an aside, is one of the elements of hell, purgatory, that it's not necessarily devils with pitchforks. The heat of hell is the embarrassment that when the nishama sees the body and recognizes that it's missed out on 90% of its potential, that feeling of missed opportunity, you know, FOMO, fear of missing out, that's the ultimate FOMO. My nishama suddenly realizes that I've missed out on my opportunity in life. That pain is dreadful. That pain is what brings the heat to the face. The face goes flush, the embarrassment of what I should have become versus what I actually became. We don't have to get there. You do not have to get there. You can do it all. If your eyes were open and you're listening to this podcast, there is always an opportunity to start fresh. But it starts with concession. It starts with conceding defeat. I did wrong. I made bad choices, but I can better myself. And I'm going to do it starting now. You could do that at 10. You could do that at a hundred. It does not matter. It's a lot easier at 10, but you can also do it at 100, though much, much more difficult. Maybe you've given up hope, but the creator hasn't given up hope on you. He has a wonderful plan for you. You'll only have to walk the path of faith. You can't keep doing what you're doing. You can't keep sitting on the train going the wrong way and hope that you're going to get to your destination. It will never happen. On the contrary, you're going to get farther and farther away. It's time for change. And that's the whole basis of this podcast. I'm doing this because the world is hurting. We're hurting because we've been directed by people who are, for all intents and purposes, blind. They're self-serving. They only see what they want, and therefore they're going to push their agenda. And I'm talking about all of the people who have formed society, all of the quote unquote leaders of humanity have led us astray down a road that is self-serving to them and to other humans. We should not be serving humanity. We should be serving one and only creator whose entire existence and purpose is to do for us. Never forget this important rule of life. If you believe that you ruin things, then believe that you can fix them again. There's a caveat. You need to accept responsibility. You need to know that you have a big part in this. If you don't, then you cannot fix it. Knowing is half the battle. You've heard that before. In AA, Alcoholics Anonymous, the first thing you need to do is accept the fact that I have a problem. If I don't accept that I have a problem or that I'm part of the problem, then I'm not incentivized to fix it. But first you have to acknowledge, then believe that you have the ability to fix. Maybe until today it says you've made a lot of mistakes. We all do. Every single one of us. Don't think that because I'm behind the camera giving this podcast over, that I'm perfect. I'm far from it. I can teach doesn't mean I'm doing everything that I teach. The point is I'm here to learn just as much as you are because I'm human and we have an evil inclination. I have one too. In fact, mine is growing every day that I've noticed since starting this podcast. Why? Because I'm upping my game, and that's the way the world works. The more you up your game, the more you're challenged. Why? Because God sees you want to up your game. You want to become better. You want to become stronger. You want to become a representative of what it means to live a good life. So you're working on yourself. So God says, okay, throw more at them. Give him another opportunity. Increase the weight. It's like the guy who goes to the gym. I want to become a bodybuilder. I want to compete in these competitions. And I want to win first place. I want to be the best in bodybuilding. So you enter the gym. You don't put 300 pounds and start bench pressing it right away. You start with the bar. It's empty. There's no weights on it. You've got to start somewhere. And then as you grow and as you get stronger, you put weight on. The weight is not there to bring you down. On the contrary, the weight is there to help you to become stronger. Without that additional weight, the additional resistance, because that's what it is, it's pushing back on you. If you didn't add that resistance, you would stay exactly where you are. You'd maintain where you are. The difference is in Judaism, there's no maintaining. There is no maintaining in life. You're either moving forward, like I've said to you before, or you're moving backwards. In life, in reality, in spirituality, in Judaism, there is no neutral. You're either going forward or back. You're either making good choices or bad choices. If you're not constantly learning, you will lose the learning that you had. It's not like math, it's not like social sciences. You have to constantly be learning in order to maintain the learning that you've done up until now. So that's what he says. But now you're different. I'm learning. I'm growing. I'm not the same guy that I was in the gym when I first started with the empty bar. Today I can bench press two, three hundred pounds. I'm different. I'm well on my way to growth. So he says, you're different because you acknowledge this. You repented, you made a concession and you committed to moving forward properly. You recognize that you were wrong. Bottom line, put the past behind you and make a brand new start. Learn to live with faith and prepare yourself for a new life and a new path that awaits you. If you approach life with that outlook, knowing that you have every opportunity every day to become the best version of you, then there is nothing that can stop you except for you. Or if, God forbid, the clock has run out. Guys, I constantly want to remind people, although it's not a popular thing to remind people about, and that's why you don't see this, and that's why you're not thinking about it. Life is temporary. They will work, they being the powers that be, will work overtime to either ignore that fact altogether or to make you believe that you will live forever, that you can plan and you can build and you can open business. Guys opening businesses, they're in their 80s. They're not thinking about enjoying life. Now, I don't know where you live, but I can tell you in Canada, we're notorious for that. This is all about being distracted and being forced to work until your dying day, being put into that position where you can't do anything else. You feel guilty extracting yourself from work because that's all they want you to do. When you're constantly trying to keep up with the Joneses, trying to make as much as your neighbor or your friend to be able to consider yourself worthy, then it comes at a price. And that price is life. You've missed out on the opportunity to enjoy from this life that God gave you. He gave you a wonderful world. He gave you all of its sweetness and all of its experiences for you to be able to enjoy. If you're so busy just trying to make a buck, to start a business, to get ahead, to keep up with the challenges, to pay your taxes, to do what the government tells you to do, to fall in line and be a good robot. Then, my friend, you've missed out on the opportunity of life. It will come with a massive amount of stress. And that stress will tear apart not only you, but your family, your wife, and your children and your marriage that you invested so much time and energy into building in the first place. Don't let it happen. Don't be another statistic. It's so easy to be a statistic. You just fall in line. God gave you a brain for a reason. He gave you a soul, a part of him for a reason. Use it and become the best version of you. And the way to do that is to start with the concessions. Block out the noise. Block out what society is trying to get you to do. Do not listen. Trust me, it is a world of lies. Hashem says it. The creator tells you, Alma the Shinkra, a world of lies. Block out the lies and search for truth. If you're busy searching for truth by watching podcasts like these and sharing them, then you, my friend, are on the way to new levels of success. And the people that you share it with, who you love and care about, are right there beside you. Have an amazing day. We chat again tomorrow. Thank you for spending time with us on the Trust Factor Podcast. If you've heard something today that moved you, save this episode and share it with someone who might need to hear it. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss upcoming conversations that challenge, empower, and uplift. And if you're on social media, connect with us. Leave your thoughts. Drop a quote that resonated with you. Hashtag the TrustFactor Podcast. Until next time, keep growing in your trust and keep living with purpose. I'm Jesse Revivo, and this has been the Trust Factor Podcast. Thanks for listening.