Episode 175 - Hindsight and Hopes: A Life-Changing Acceptance

You’re not “losing control” - you’re being reminded you never had it.

Save this for the next time life hits with fear, anger, or that heavy chest feeling.

Fear often shows up when we’re carrying baggage we never let go of.

Rabbi Akiva’s “bad” night was actually what saved his life.
What feels unfair right now might be protection you can’t see yet.
That shift changes everything - because peace starts when you stop trying to be the boss of the universe.

What’s one moment that only made sense in hindsight?

Full episode - link in bio.

#thetrustfactorpodcast #emunah #FaithOverFear #JewishWisdom  #mindsetshift #jewishpodcasts 

Transcript

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We don't always have hindsight. That's the key. Sometimes we do. And if you miss out on that opportunity, man of you lost out on life. If you miss out on an opportunity to get clarity through hindsight, then you've missed out on an opportunity to connect back to your creator in one of the biggest ways in the world. You have now eyes to see exactly why that thing that you thought was so terrible turned out to be the best thing for you. Whether we're children and it's our first love, and suddenly we're forced to break up with them, and they break up with us and we think it's the worst thing in the world, or maybe it's even later on. Maybe you even got engaged, maybe you even got married, and the whole thing fell apart despite your best efforts. And you think to yourself, why? Why do I have to go through all this? It's so painful.

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The trust factor is to ticket to a better life. The trust factor shows you how to get through the life.

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By demonstrating mostly this concept of fear, that whether you're in a car and you're terrified of where you're going or you're in a plane and there's turbulence, whatever the situation may be, oftentimes our response to it is driven by fear. And that fear is really the fear that we are not prepared to go yet because we haven't done a true accounting. We haven't connected back to our creator and we haven't offloaded our baggage. We're carrying around all of the negative deeds that we've accumulated over the years, and we're terrified that we're going to leave this world not having repaired the things that we need to repair. So two things. Number one, repair. It's so easy to do. All you need to do is feel bad about what you did, which most of us already do. The idea of a sin sounds good, it feels good, but oftentimes, right after you're done, you automatically feel regret, a sense of remorse. It wasn't nearly what I expected. It wasn't nearly worth it. I now feel bad that I did it in the first place. So all you need to do is what you're already doing, which is to feel bad then. Make a commitment to never doing it again, a real firm commitment. Say it out loud. Name the thing that you did so that your ears can hear what your lips have to say and what you've done to drive the point home. And make that commitment and then do your best to maintain it. That's it. If you fail again, which we often do, then you repeat. The only risk you run is that every time you repeat, it becomes a little less genuine in terms of your approach because you're now becoming desensitized to it. Don't let that ever happen. But you're going to fail. Okay, pick yourself back up and move on. Repeat the process of getting atonement. And when you do that, a weight will be lifted off of your chest. It says that a person needs to repent before the day they die. The problem is we don't know when that day is. It's different for every single individual. Sometimes you have a little bit of insight because God forbid you're sick and you're on your deathbed and the doctors are telling you what they expect. But even then, you don't know. They could tell you that your time is coming within hours. And then I've known people who've lived weeks or months after that. I know somebody who that just happened to actually a year ago. His mother was told that she was on her deathbed. They sent her home to die. They weren't even willing to give her a blood transfusion. In her 90s, 94-year-old woman, this was last year. Her son took care of her, and she's still alive and kicking today, as if that episode had never happened. So we don't know. The point is, you don't need to wait for an invitation to feel bad about the things that you've done in the past. That will remove that weight from you and give you clarity in situations that are difficult. It will remove a lot of the fear that you have from you, because that fear comes from holding on to that sin. That fear also comes from that sense of a lack of control, which drives anxiety. And that is directly connected to the fact that you think that you run the world and that God is just watching from afar, or maybe God from Betty doesn't even exist. People believe that. And therefore they think it's me. It's my strength, it's my wisdom, it's my ingenuity that's going to get me into a jam or out of a jam. It's all me. So you're in a position. Now you're in a plane at 30,000 feet, and there is nothing that you can do. Zero. All you can do is clutch onto the armrest with your kung fu grip and start sweating because you're not getting access to that cockpit. And even if you did, you wouldn't know what to do. You'd definitely put that plane into a tailspin. So now you're just a passenger. On a terrifying ride, there's zero control, which is a big part of the reason why people lose their minds when there's turbulence on an airplane. In every situation, my friends, there is a simple answer. Number one, give up control to the boss, the one who runs the world and who loves you infinitely, the one who you speak to on a regular basis every single day. And then let go, let go of all the baggage you're carrying around with you so that when you ever face with those challenges, you're not running through your mind on that, playing back the history of your life to figure out what didn't I fix? What do I still have left to do? Get it done. So easy to do, my friends. Now we're going to give you an example. The example that has to do with control. This is a very, very famous story, and I believe it's from the Gemara. I've heard it many times. You may have heard it yourself. It's a reminder of who runs the world. Rabbi Akiva was traveling on the road with his three only possessions. What were they? He had a donkey that he was riding on, and then he had a rooster which served as his alarm clock. And he had a candle that lit up the night whenever he needed it. He entered into a town looking for a place to stay. He found a small inn, but they couldn't find a place for him to sleep. No room, sorry, old man. Akiva didn't try to plead to anyone. Remember what we said about the guard at the door? Let me in, right? No. I asked, I received the response. I'm perfectly content with that response. It's exactly what happened. Nor did he use his status to try and forcibly convince anyone here's a hundred dollars. Do you know who I am? Do you know I'm Rabbi Akiva? I'm the famous guy. Gotta make room for me. There must be somewhere. None of that. I asked, I got an answer, I'm content with that answer. He simply sought a place to sleep in a field outside of the town, gleefully accepting that whatever the creator does is for the very best. This is our example for life. Listen to what happens. A wind came and extinguished Rabbi Akiva's candle so that he was left in the dark. He couldn't relight the candle. He simply said, Whatever the creator does is for the very best. Along comes a cat and eats his rooster, his alarm clock. Again, he said, Whatever the creator does is for the very best. And then comes along a lion and eats his donkey. And what does he say? It's all from Hashem. Hashem runs the world. He loves me. It's for my very best. These are words. And this is an example that you might think is difficult for you to connect to, but it should not be. Basically, this is you sitting at home after having built a home for 20 plus years, and God forbid, along comes a hurricane or a tornado or some natural disaster and destroys it, flattens it entirely. I've seen videos of that not long ago. There was a, I can't remember where it was, it was a massive tornado somewhere. The guy comes out of the bunker in his basement, and the entire neighborhood is rubble. It looks like Gaza. And the entire neighborhood has been erased in seconds from a tornado. Do you know what that's like? Now you have to rebuild all of your possessions, all of your memories, everything you ever cherished in terms of the material world is gone in an instant. And now you have nowhere to call home. You have no roof over your head. That's what this story illustrates. I'm just giving it over to you in a quick way with a rooster and a donkey and a candle. Come on. That's the reality. In our life, it's our homes, it's our cars, it's the money in the bank, it's all the things that we think we need in order to survive. Basic survival was taken away from Rabbi Akiva in one night. And then what happens? He's keeping a positive outlook. And then it says that night, people came in, enemies, robbers came in to the town where Akiva wanted to spend the night, where he wanted to sleep. And they took all of the residents into captivity. He was saved specifically from the calamities that had befallen him the previous night. Those very same events that any of us would have thought was the end of the world and was so unfair, and why me, and I'm the victim, and these things only ever happened to me, and so on and so forth, are exactly what saved his life. Why? Had he slept in the town, he too would have been taken into captivity. Had his candle burned, or his rooster would have crowed, or his donkey would have made noises and they too would have been discovered and he would have been taken into captivity. Or if they would have just said, come on in, we got a room for you. Oh, you're the big uh Rabbi Akiva. Of course, we're gonna make you get the presidential suite. He would have ended up in captivity and probably killed. Those very events that would drive most of us crazy, like not being allowed in, where there's a guard at the door, are exactly what saved his life. There is nothing better. He accepted the decree. He accepted the no, there's no room out of love. He accepted the candle, the rooster, the donkey, all these things he accepted with love. And at the end of the day, he had hindsight. But we don't always have hindsight. That's the key. We don't always have the ability to walk into the town and see that the town was destroyed and that everybody was taken captive. Sometimes we do. And if you miss out on that opportunity, man, have you lost out on life. If you miss out on an opportunity to get clarity through hindsight, then you've missed out on an opportunity to connect back to your creator in one of the biggest ways in the world, where you have now eyes to see exactly why that thing that you thought was so terrible turned out to be the best thing for you. We go through life, whether we're children and it's our first love, our first crush, and suddenly we're forced to break up with them, or they break up with us and we think it's the worst thing in the world, or maybe it's even later on. Maybe you even got engaged, maybe you even got married, and the whole thing fell apart despite your best efforts. And you think to yourself, why? Why do I have to go through all this? It's so painful. But at the end of the day, when you move forward five years, 10 years, and suddenly you're in a brand new relationship, and that relationship is exponentially greater than the one before it. You've forgotten entirely about the previous one so quickly, because this one is so much better suited for you. You didn't know that 10 years ago. Today you thank your lucky stars. You pray to God and say, Thank you for giving me this new relationship. And it's the same thing with the job. You got fired from what you thought was your dream job. And then a few years later, you find out that you were miserable in that job. You just didn't know it because you were in it. You had to be extricated. You had to be pulled out of that job to be able to have eyes to look in from arm's length. And then suddenly, in your new job, you realize how much better off you are today than you were back then. We don't have eyes to see it. So, what's the secret that Rabbi Akiva is sharing with us? It's gratitude and switch it off. We don't know. God runs the world and we want him to run the world because nobody has the clarity and the insight and the foresight to be able to see the things that he sees because he controls them. Why wouldn't I want him to run my life? I just have to do the good things that he tells me to do, do the commandments, which are designed to improve the individual that I am, and thereby improving my surroundings, my family, my spouse, and my children, and my parents, and my community. Everybody wins when I do the mitzvahs. I refine the individual, I become that much better. And at the same time, I don't have to worry about all of these worldly things because he's pulling the strings. Guys, it's a no-brainer. That's how you can live, and that's how we're supposed to live. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, it starts today by having a conversation. Reach out, use your own words and have a conversation with your creator. If you're scared to do it in a public setting, I don't blame you. Find a quiet room, close the door, and meditate and have that conversation with your creator. Let's switch gears real quickly and finish this off on a different subject, one that we'll probably pick up tomorrow. It says, unlike Robin Hood, one may not rob the rich to give to the poor. While giving to the poor is certainly a lofty and worthy deed, one is not permitted to touch even one penny that does not belong to him. So it says, by the same token, one may not lose his temper in doing the creator's will. Why? Losing one's temper when things don't go your way because of all the scenarios that I just gave you about I just broke up with this person, I had to get divorced, I just lost my job. When you lose your temper, it is just as bad as stealing. The angry person forgets and ignores the principles of Amuna and severs himself from his creator. There's no relationship over here. It's all me. There is no boss that runs the world. I'm the boss. So if I failed in that relationship, it's because I did something wrong. And that could have been the best relationship in the world. And there's no such thing as another potential better relationship than that. Why? Because it's all me. I'm the one who determines these things, the outcome. So when I win, I give myself a big pat on the back. In my eyes, I won. And when I fail in my eyes, then I beat myself when I'm down. Because nobody's going to be harder on you than yourself when there's no God. Anger is a statement that a person is displeased with the creator's way of running things. Sadness and depression make the same statement. The anger or sadness play individual cannot possibly do the creator's will. Bottom line, if you're angry, if you're sad at the situation that you're in, whether it's the lost job, the guy didn't let you in, you're on a plane, whatever the situations are that we've been giving you amazing examples, real life examples. If your response is negativity, if your response is resentment, if your response is to get mad, I rate, I'm gonna fix this. It's me. If your response is sadness and depression, curl up into a bowl and don't leave your room, stay in the dark, all of those things sever your relationship with your creator. Every single one of them says the same thing. Either there is no creator, because why would this happen to me? You know how many times I've heard that? If that's God, then I want nothing to do with him, right? People talk about that in relation to the Holocaust. If there's a God that can operate like that and can do those things, and I want nothing to do with them, you understand? That's how people with a corrupt way of thinking and don't have a relationship with their creator, that's how they think, right? So, number one, you're either saying there is no God or I can do a better job than you. God, what kind of a job are you doing over here? I'm relying on you to do things properly, to do things that benefit me. Clearly they're not. And therefore, you must be failing at your job. That's what people think. I can do a better job than my creator, because had I chosen, I would have never left that job. Had I chosen, I would have never gotten out of that relationship, and so on and so forth. Not realizing what's awaiting for you around that corner. The classic example is of the bus, because after been in Israel in the days of the Intifada, where we had these terrorists blowing up bombs and somebody's late for work and it's his last opportunity to get to work on time. And he's rushing to the bus because his boss has told him already that if he comes late one more time, it's over for him. No more job. Go find another job somewhere. And he's rushing to the bus stop because he's already late and he misses the bus by seconds. He's running after it, and the bus driver's looking at him, and not even looking at him, the bus driver's looking straight ahead as if he's not even there while he's running after the bus and pleading with the driver to stop. And what happens? He's miserable. He's so upset and he's blaming God. How could you do this to me? And not knowing that as soon as that bus turned the corner, God forbid, there was a bomb on that bus. When he finds that out with his hindsight, he doesn't stop thanking Hashem that he wasn't on that bus. Obviously, you're mourning the loss of innocent lives, but I could have been on that bus. That could have been me. And what I thought was miserable, what I thought was the worst thing in the world, that I lost my job. Who cares? I could have lost my life. You don't always have that hindsight. So when you have it, grab it, lock into it. Those are the events in your life that are going to solidify for you just how amazing your creator is and are going to connect. They're going to build bridges between you and your creator. Have an amazing day. We'll chat again tomorrow. Thank you for spending time with us on the Trust Factor Podcast. If you've heard something today that moved you, save this episode and share it with someone who might need to hear it. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss upcoming conversations that challenge, empower, and uplift. And if you're on social media, connect with us. Leave your thoughts. Drop a quote that resonated with you. Hashtag the TrustFactor Podcast. Until next time, keep growing in your trust and keep living with purpose. I'm Jesse Revivo, and this has been the Trust Factor Podcast. Thanks for listening.