Episode 185 - Appreciate Now, Before It's Gone

Finding Gratitude Amid Change

Reflections on personal prayer and appreciation during transitions

Good morning, everyone. Today, we dive into a reflective journey sparked by a recent move. Jessy Revivo shares insights that resonate deeply, especially amidst life’s transitions.

The Value of Personal Prayer

Jessy opens the episode by emphasizing the importance of carving out personal time for prayer. He quotes a piece of wisdom that suggests spending at least an hour a day in personal reflection. This time allows for introspection, fostering a genuine connection with the creator.

"You want to have a one-on-one, you don't want to have everybody listening in. Find a solitary room, find a park or a field. The most important thing is to feel comfortable." 

- Jessy Revivo

Choosing the right environment is crucial; a quiet space free from distractions enables deeper, more meaningful conversations with oneself and with the divine.

Reflecting on Blessings

As Jessy recounts his recent move, he reflects on the incredible memories built in his former home. After years of raising a family there, he highlights how easy it is to take our surroundings for granted.

"There is no more powerful time in the world to appreciate what you have until it's gone." 

- Jessy Revivo

This poignant reminder encourages us to appreciate our blessings while we have them, rather than waiting for significant changes or losses to recognize their value.

The Power of Gratitude

Jessy shares a moving moment from his transition, where he and his family took time to reflect on their experiences, expressing gratitude for all the beautiful memories created in their home. It’s during these quiet moments that real appreciation surfaces, reminding us of the importance of acknowledging our blessings regularly.

 "Only when I'm able, only when I'm about to walk out of that door and the house is completely empty... can I stop and contemplate what is transpiring?" 

- Jessy Revivo

Such reflections not only deepen our connection with our creator but also strengthen our relationships with those around us.

Moving Forward

As Jessy continues to navigate this change, he invites listeners to consider how they can incorporate more personal prayer into their daily lives. By sharing thoughts and experiences regularly, we can stay connected and grounded.

"...the more you do that, the deeper your connection will be back and the more important and impactful your prayer will be." 

- Jessy Revivo

In this episode, Jessy not only shares his journey but also encourages us to embrace our own, reminding us of the beauty in gratitude, reflection, and personal connection.

As we move forward, let’s take a moment to reflect on our own lives and the blessings we often overlook. 

For those interested in a deeper exploration of these themes, tune into the full episode for more insights and reflections from Jessy.

Have an amazing day, my friends. We’ll chat again soon!

#thetrustfactorpodcast #JewishWisdom

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:00

There is no more powerful time in the world to appreciate what you have until it's gone. And that's coming from somebody who is huge on appreciation. We are so inundated every single day of our lives by being pulled out in a million different directions and just getting things done. Remember, we said this is a world of action. We're constantly in motion. We're constantly doing, thinking, building, analyzing, assessing. We're always in motion. It's hard when you're in motion to do what's called stopping and smelling the roses. That means do you stop and appreciate what you have on a whole other level? And you can do that every day, but you will never be able to do that to the extent that you can when that something is gone.

SPEAKER_01 0:45

The trust factor is the ticket to a better life. The trust factor shows you how to get through the life.

SPEAKER_00 1:03

I mentioned to you the other day it was moving day. So it's been a pretty hectic week, and it's going to be hectic, probably for the coming week or two, maybe even three. So you're going to have to bear with us. But I was about to get into the book, and I was about to just get right back into it, contemplating, discussing really the whole move altogether. And then the book opens up with something that kind of indicates that maybe I should spend some time on it and see where it goes. Here's what the book says it's the best advice. What is the best advice that every person, man, woman, and child, needs to spend at least an hour a day in personal prayer, talking to your creator, doing that introspection and becoming aware. Pick the hour that's most convenient for you, it says. Many prefer early in the morning, that's why Shakirit is very important, and many people attend it. It's because that's how you start your day. The way you start it, hopefully, is indication of the way it will end, which means that you're going to start it on a good foot. Preferably, one should choose a place devoid of other people for obvious reasons. You want to have a one-on-one. You don't want to have everybody listening in. Find a solitary room, find a park or a field. The most important thing is to feel comfortable. Very, very important. With no outside interference so that you could fully and freely pour your heart out to the creator. If there's people around, it's not going to be genuine. It's not going to be who you are. You're going to be very reserved. You're going to be very quiet. You're not going to say the things that you want to say. If you're going to find yourself a place, make sure that there's nobody there, and there's ideally nobody within earshot. So that nobody needs to be in on your conversation with your creator. That's your own personal time. So find that place and do it every day, whether it's in the morning, whether it's in the afternoon, at night, multiple times a day. We know as Jews that three times a day are the prescribed times. There's a reason for that. There's a good reason why we need to stop three times a day, specifically morning, afternoon, and night. Our sages knew when those times are most primed to be able to, number one, breach the heavens, but number two, get us out of our elements, stop us in our tracks and say, wait, enough time has passed for you to stop and do some introspection. But here's where it really begins. It says, a good warm-up is to begin by thanking the Creator for the wonderful blessings that he gives you, your health, your livelihood, and the clothes on your back. Don't take anything for granted. Let's put a pen in this for a second. I don't want to spend too much time on it. In fact, I wasn't even going to talk about it. I was just going to kind of push through as if nothing different was happening. But let's be honest, given the backdrop and the change of scenery and the fact that we made a huge move, it's important, I think, that we talk about it. And there are so many lessons, I think, that can come out of it. Just for some background, my wife and I married to buy a house 20 years ago in Thornhill. And more than that, we raised an unbelievable family that I'm so, so proud of. Easily, easily, my biggest legacy in the world is the wonderful children that God gave us and our ability to raise them. The environment that He gave us to raise our children in was spectacular. And I always knew that we were fortunate. I always knew to count my blessings because I'm telling you guys about this. I'm telling you about my routine and how I operate. And it all has to do with the Mona and my relationship with my creator. So I'm often giving gratitude. I'm often saying thank you. I'm often awake and aware of my surroundings, not operating by rote, not taking everything for granted. And so for me, I live that on a daily basis. But I want to explain to you something. There is no more powerful time in the world to appreciate what you have until it's gone. And that's coming from somebody who is huge on appreciation. So I want you to understand that we are so inundated every single day of our lives, being pulled out in a million different directions and just getting things done. Because that's what we do. Remember, we said this is a world of action. We're constantly in motion. We're constantly doing, thinking, building, analyzing, assessing. We're always in motion. It's hard when you're in motion to do what's called stopping and smelling the roses, right? There's another one of those quips, those euphemisms. Stop and smell the roses. What does that mean? That means do you stop and appreciate what you have on a whole other level? And you can do that every day, but you will never be able to do that to the extent that you can when that something is gone. And I can speak about this intelligently for multiple reasons, but most of all for what just transpired in my own life. It was very distracting for us to pack up the house, to get everything organized, to make plans, what's the next phase, and do all these things. It's so much working, so much planning and so many distractions that we're just going through the motion. Yeah, I understand it's important. We raised our kids here, it's been 20 years. We built businesses over here, we did so many amazing things, but you're not really as sensitive to it as you need to be. And the only time you can be, and the only time I could be, was when the house was emptied and the last bag left that house. The house was empty, quiet, and clean. And my wife and I and my son were standing in the hallway, and we had a moment of gratitude where we reflected on memories, and we talked about our children growing up, and we talked about all the blessings. We talked about the Shabbats that we got that were such a gift to be able to host so many people in our home, not just family and friends, but complete strangers, people passing through, the amazing holidays that we had, the crazy preparations, again, so much food and joy and people and song at the table and just unbelievable memories. And then we think about our kids growing up and you look at the door post on the closet and you see the markings on the side of how tall they are, and the memories all come back, and suddenly you're able to relive all these things. Why? Why wasn't I able to do that a day before, a week before, a month before? Because I'm in it. Because I'm distracted by the task that's at hand. Only when I'm about to walk out of that door and the house is completely empty and there are no more distractions, can I stop and contemplate what is transpiring? And we broke down and we had a good moment of real gratitude and appreciation, not sadness. There's obviously an element of sadness there because we're leaving all of that behind. And a part of us is always going to stay in that home. But if we look forward, we can always shift the focus and focus on the posity. For me, though, a lot of that breakdown was gratitude. Just realizing, having real recognition of the blessings that he gave us, the blessings that Hashem showered on me and my entire family, the ability to raise the children in that community with opportunity, with quiet, with peace, with safety. All of these wonderful things and to host so many amazing events and people in that house. It's such a gift that you don't realize and we take for granted. And when I had that time alone to be able to really reflect, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Even at times when I wasn't deserving, he still showered us with so much goodness. You can't take that for granted. If you do, you risk jeopardizing your relationship with your creator and not ever being able to have one. That's why gratitude is so, so important. And it's exactly what prayer is. And again, as much as you can do that in a public setting, you can do it when you're sitting in the doctor's office and you connect a little prayer in your head. That's all fine and it's wonderful. But better that you should find a quiet place that's private and out of the public eye. Why? Because there are fewer distractions. And then you can do the real soul searching. You can dig down deep and really connect back to your creator. That's why two things. Number one, it's so important to do the personal prayer. But number two, make sure nothing's pulling at you. As much as it's possible, make sure that there are no distractions. And the more you do that, the deeper your connection will be back, and the more important and impactful your prayer will be. So, with regards to my family, there's moves, there's changes that are happening. Please bear with us. There's going to be some times where the podcast episodes will be intermittent and the background will change, but those are really insignificant. The content is what matters the most. So let's give you a little bit more from the book. What happens after you've done that soul searching? What happens? Where do you go after you thanked Hashem for all the goodness that he brought into your life? Next, tell the creator everything that has transpired in your life since you last spoke to him. Now think about this. If the last time you spoke to him was a year ago, there's a lot of catching up to do, and you're going to miss out on all the pertinent details. If the last time you spoke to him was three hours ago or four hours ago, now you have an opportunity to review what's fresh. It's in your head. I just transacted three, four times. I had interactions with four or five people. This one played out like that, this one played out like this, this one I thought was pretty good, this one I could have done better on. But as soon as too much time passes, now you're going to have a hard time trying to remember to drum up what those interactions were like and what really happened. Because oftentimes when enough time passes, you suddenly forget the details and it all skews to your favor. So speak to them on a regular basis. And the more frequently that you speak to them, the better it will be for you. Don't skip any details, especially the things which make you happy and the things which make you upset. Thank him for helping you to do your good deeds and confess your misdeeds while judging yourself in the process. There's an opinion that you should judge harshly, meaning to say, don't be too easy on yourself. If you want to be easy, be easy on everybody else. That's the right way to live. But on yourself, if you're too easy, then you risk not taking your actions seriously. Be a little bit more firm with yourself. Expect a little bit more from yourself than you expect from everybody else. Then you start to ask for forgiveness because you're going to recognize in your words that I did this, that, and the other thing, and I probably shouldn't have. Or I probably could have done it differently. And if I'm really honest with myself, maybe I did do something that could be considered transgression in the way that I dealt with somebody. So remember, penitence. What are the four steps? Number one, confess. I did something wrong. Say it out loud that your ears should hear your mouth. Say the confession, spell it out so that it becomes real. That's number one, that's real confession. Not just in your heart and in your head, say the words. Then number two, feel bad about it. If there's no remorse, you're going to do it again. There's no question. Just when are you going to do it? How soon after? If there's real remorse, real remorse, then the odds are greatly increased that you're not going to repeat the answering. Number three, ask for forgiveness. Hashem, I recognize it was wrong. I feel bad about it. And I really would love a clean slate. I want to do over. I want to try this again. It's just like a child speaking to a father. Child goes up to that, father throws a hundred pitches at him, he misses every one. The kid says, I want to do this, I want to do this, throw the 101 pitch. The father's going to stay there and throw that pitch. Why? Because he wants to see his son succeed. Hashem is going to give you the opportunity to do the right thing every single time, no matter how many times you fail, as long as you've done the confession, you've felt badly about it, and then you're asking for the forgiveness. And finally make a resolution. It's not enough that I'm just going to go and hit this ball again. First, I need to figure out what am I doing wrong? Why can't I connect? Why can't I make contact with this Lanzi ball? Figure it out. Find yourself a coach, aka a rabbi, who's going to guide you and say, maybe your stance is wrong. Maybe you're holding the bat wrong. Maybe there are a dozen different things that you can do differently in order to have greater odds of hitting that ball, making good contact. If you're just going to repeat the same poor stance and the poor grip and poor focus, if you're just waiting on a miracle, it's not going to happen. You need to do the heavy lifting. So, Hashem, these are the steps that I'm putting in place. I'm going to learn about X, Y, and Z. I'm going to find myself a rabbi. I'm going to start praying an extra five minutes. I'm going to learn an extra 15 minutes a day. I'm going to start picking up learning at night because my learning's only during the day. There's a dozen different things that you could do to start refining your character and help you become that bigger person. So go through the four steps. So remember, God, thank you. Thank you for everything that you gave me. I don't deserve it so many times, but you give it to me anyways. That's number one. Number two, this is how my day's going so far. This is how I spent the last few hours. I don't know if I did right. Let me think this out loud, and maybe I'll figure out if my actions were good, bad, or otherwise. Then I've identified some key areas that I probably transgressed. This is what I'm thinking. This is how I feel about it. I've I probably could have done better. I feel bad that I responded to the person that way. I feel bad that I chose A over B. I know better. I should have chosen better, and I will choose better next time. And I feel really bad about it. But you know what? I'm going to learn about the consequences of my action. I'm going to pick up additional time learning with this person or that person and make a commitment to be able to get there instead of just talking about it. If you do those things multiple times a day, my friends, it's simple. You become bulletproof. You become as close to perfection in this world as humanly possible. That's it. It's not such a big deal. Two, three times a day, stop and use that technique. Use that approach to connect back to your creator and drastically improve your life and your odds of success. Again, patience, my friends, please. Some days there will be an episode posted. Other days I'll put up a notice if there isn't. But for the next week or two, maybe even three, it's going to be a little bit bumpy until we find our new settings for the podcast. Have an amazing day, my friends. We'll chat again, hopefully, tomorrow. Thank you for spending time with us on the Trust Factor Podcast. If you've heard something today that moved you, save this episode and share it with someone who might need to hear it. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss upcoming conversations that challenge, empower, and uplift. And if you're on social media, connect with us. Leave your thoughts. Drop a quote that resonated with you. Hashtag the TrustFactor Podcast. Until next time, keep growing in your trust and keep living with purpose. I'm Jesse Revivo, and this has been the Trust Factor Podcast. Thanks for listening.